4 Months

Tomorrow morning my baby will be four whole months old. Time has flown by, but at the same time I can't remember life without you. I know that there was a time that I sat on the couch and did nothing. And I seem to remember sleeping in and running errands without packing a diaper bag first. But it seems silly. Like it was too easy and lacked meaning.

This month you have rolled over and laughed. Just once. To say that you aren't one to perform on demand is an understatement. You spend a lot of your time talking... loudly and being skeptical. You have a new trick where you kick while we change your diaper and your eyes get really huge. You look like a little fat man dancing. You have so many cute things that you do but when I pull out a camera or video camera you automatically become very serious. None of the pictures I have of you do you any justice at all.

I was able to put you all the way in your bassinet this month. Of course, you are still in arms reach but I did get you out of the bed with me. Baby steps. Thinking of putting you in your own room clear down the hall makes my breathing stop.

You still spend a lot of time in your stroller being wheeled around the house. This is when you aren't in our arms. Daddy and I can do so many things one-handed. It's quite extraordinary really.

You reach for things and have fallen head over heels in love with your own fists. They are in your mouth all of the time and covered with drool. Actually, we are all covered in your drool.

This month I started supplementing with formula. I thought that it would devastate me and make me feel like a failure - but it just felt right. I knew that I was doing what needed to be done. I am down to breastfeeding with only one breast and I don't have as much time to pump at my new job. To see you gulp down a bottle and not have to worry about replenishing what you were drinking was an enormous weight lifted.

You still so well sleeping at night. The day-time napping is a different story - but that's usually daddy's shift anyways! You and daddy spend every weekday afternoon and all day Monday and Tuesday together. You really have formed a special bond. You love to be rocked and listen to music with him. I would like for the music to be of a different genre - but you seem to enjoy the same things that he does. I may need to do an intervention and pull out some mommy music. Not that you don't get enough in the car... and during those nine months in my belly. I am still convinced that you are going to have a deep love for Stevie Nicks like mommy does. She was your first concert afterall.

Speaking of music when you're really, really worked up and screaming the only thing that will calm you down is if I sing to you. You have certain songs that you like more than others and you will sing along. You love the Do A Deer song and Bicycle Built for Two. We also do patty cake and mark it with an "E" for Evie and me. You LOVE that and look so cute! One night on the way home from having dinner at Oma's house you were so tired that you just cried and cried. Finally Aunt Clara and I started singing for you. We had to sing all the way home to keep you content. Poor big brother - he probably wanted to jump out the car window!

When I was interviewing for my new job I had a few employers ask me how I dealt with stress. For the first time in my life I was able to smile and say that nothing is that upsetting when you have a beautiful baby in your life. Your face flashes in my head and all is right with the world. I know that I gush about you but I honestly know that you, daddy and Oakley are the reason I was put on this Earth. And I am the luckiest girl on the planet.

Love,

Mama

A look back

Next week my teeny baby will be four whole months~! Here's a look back... I swear she smiles and pictures really don't do her justice. For some reason she either gets very leery or pissed when I pull out the camera!

And here's my mean mommy picture! It stinks because she looked so darn cute in the little sweater that Aunt Heather bought her and her newborn shoes finally fit!