More than you ever wanted to know about me

(X) smoked a cigarette (smoked since I was 17, I have since quit (again))
(X) smoked a cigar.
(X) smoked a joint (puff puff give!)
(_) crashed a friend's car
(_) stolen a car
(X) been in love
(X) been dumped (yes, more than I'd like to admit)
(X) shoplifted
(X) been fired (on purpose though, I didn't go to work one day and spent it in bed with a hot boy)
(_) been in a fist fight
(X) snuck out of my parent's house
(X) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
(X) made out with a stranger (he he)
(X) gone on a blind date (Prom my sophomore year...)
(X) lied to a friend
(_) had a crush on a teacher
(_) been to Europe
(X) skipped school (I had problems with my attendance)
(_) seen someone die
(_) had a crush on one of your myspace friends
(_) been to Canada
(X) been to Mexico
(X) been on a plane
(X) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(X) thrown up in a bar... (he he)
(_) purposely set a part of myself on fire
(X) eaten Sushi
(_) been snowboarding - yeah right!
(X) met someone in person from the internet (I know, but he was cute!)
(X) been moshing at a concert (I didn't mean to, Julie and I got stuck in the pit at an AFI concert.. she got her hair ripped out)
(_) been in an abusive relationship
(X) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now
(X) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(X) made a snow angel
(X) had a tea party (do Long Island's count?)
(_) flown a kite - I don't think I've ever successfully done that
(X) built a sand castle (does a big hole count?)
(X) gone puddle jumping
(X) played dress up (Hell yes, unfortunately there are many, many pictures of this)
(X) jumped into a pile of leaves
(X) gone sledding
(X) cheated while playing a game
(X) been lonely
(X) fallen asleep at work/SCHOOL (I got in big trouble because I kept falling asleep in Kindergarten and I used to nap in the bathroom lounge of NAR)
(X) used a fake id
(X) watched the sun set
(X) felt an earthquake
(X) touched a snake (one eyed and otherwise
(X) slept beneath the stars
(X) been tickled (don't touch me)
(X) been robbed - my car got broken into once, but they didn't really get much
(X) been misunderstood
(X) petted a reindeer/goat
(_) won a contest
(X) ran a red light
(_) been suspended from school
(X) been in a car accident (not bad though, just fender benders..)
(X) had braces
(X) felt like an outcast
(X) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) had deja vu
(X) danced in the moonlight
(X) hated the way you look
(X) witnessed a crime
(_) pole danced (yeah right, scared of that)
(_) been obsessed with post-it notes
(X) squished barefoot through the mud
(X) been lost (all the freakin time!)
(X) been to the opposite side of the country (Virginia and Georgia)
(X) swam in the ocean (Clara and I nearly drowned, don't smoke pot and then swim in rip tides)
(X) felt like dying
(X) cried yourself to sleep
(X) played cops and robbers
(X) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(X) sung karaoke (also scared of this one, thank GOD there were no video cameras!
(_) paid for a meal with only coins
(X) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) made prank phone calls when you were younger
(_) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) danced in the rain
(X) written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) been kissed under the mistletoe (hell, I had sex under my Christmas tree once!)
(X) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(X) blown bubbles
(_) made a bonfire on the beach
(X) crashed a party
(X) gone rollerskating (Clara and I used to a lot in our basement, we did roller dances to Elvis songs)
(X) had a wish come true
(_) humped a monkey
( ) worn pearls
(_) jumped off a bridge
(_) screamed "penis" in public
(_) ate dog/cat food
(X) told a complete stranger you loved them (damn alchohol)
(X) kissed a mirror
(X) sang in the shower
(_) have a little black dress
(X) had a dream that you married someone
(_) glued your hand to something
(_) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
(_) kissed a fish
(X) worn the opposite sex's clothes
(X) been a cheerleader
(X) sat on a roof top
(X) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel (I can't even do one w/ two hands)
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(X) stayed up all night
(_) didn't take a shower for a week (No, but I would LOVE that!)
(_) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(_) climbed a tree
(X) had a tree house - My cousin had one I played in . . does that count?
(X) are scared to watch scary movies
(X) believe in ghosts
(_) have more than 30 pairs of shoes
(_) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
(_) gone streaking
(X) played ding-dong-ditch-
(X) played chicken
(X) pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on
(X) been told you're beautiful by a complete stranger (not that they were sober)
(_) broken a bone
(X) been easily amused he he.
(X) caught a fish then ate it
(X) caught a butterfly
(X) laughed so hard you cried
(X) cried so hard you laughed
(X) mooned someone
(X) had someone moon/flash you
(X) cheated on a test
(X) have a Britney Spears CD
(X) forgotten someone's name?
(X) slept naked
(X) French braided someone's hair?
(X) grown a beard (I don't want to talk about it)
(_) belong to the KKK.
(_) rule at Life
(_) Been to more than 10 Countries

Blah freakin blah blah

I've been quite the slacker lately eh? I have every intention of keeping up on this, but time just slips away, and I only have computer access at work. And, unfortunately I'm not a slacker at work.

Nothing much new. Although, surprisingly I am loving the whole domesticated thing. Brian and I are just happy as freakin clams doing dishes together and things like that. He cooks and we watch TV and just hang out. We have had people over a couple of times and it's a lot of fun to be little hosts.

Oakley and the cat are pretty tight, I noticed the other day that she smelt like Brian's cologne. Oakley had sprayed her with it and brushed her teeth, apparantly he wanted her to smell good. Sigh.

Things are getting busy again. I got the new Leann Womack CD and her greatest hits last night and I now carry them wherever I go and listen to them. I may have a problem, but recommend them.

I read my first John Grisham novel, I always thought of him as too main stream to begin reading. I enjoyed it though, read it in a weekend.

the party don't start til 6 in the Mornin'...

Argh, another early day at the office. I will be here for about twelve hours today. I finally finished entering in all of the lost backorders, but now I am left with paperwork without orders and orders without paperwork so I have to be a detective and try to track down what on earth is going on with them. In the meantime, people are probably wondering where their orders are. And yet, I find time to do this.

I finished reading The Glass Castle last night by Jeannette Walls. I couldn't put it down. I related to it so much, of course on a much smaller scale. I highly recommend it.

The weekend will be spent doing laundry, Oakley and I may go to a movie on Saturday and on Sunday we plan on taking Brian's grandma swimming and then we will come home and maybe hang out with some friends. I just want to sleep and find another good book.

ET Phone Home

So I still don't have a home phone. I finally got Qwest out to my house to set it up and they found that the wiring is installed incorrectly. It goes through the attic and maybe one of the workers put a nail through the wiring. We also realized that that was the only phone jack in the entire house. I guess when we didn't get upgrades on our house, no one was kidding around! I use Brian's cell phone but he is an absolute freak about his minutes and hovers over me while motioning for me to "wrap it up". I didn't understand why something was missing out of my life since I've been in the new house. What did I do in the apartment to occupy time? Oh yeah, talk on the phone for hours at a time.

I called the house people and she said she would try to get an electrician out on Monday (this was on Friday) but that she needed it in writing. What? Anyways, I filled out the form and the second question was home phone number! Argh. Needless to say, nothing yet. I am paying for phone service that doesn't exist. I paid last month for them to hook it up to my old apartment. Maybe I am meant to dissappear into obscurity, I doubt it though... I want to talk people's ears off again!

Mean Monkeys

Saturday night Brian and I didn't sleep a wink. The mattress that we had was so small and squeaky and my side sunk down so I had to hold on to keep from falling out of bed. He woke up and told me that he had a dream about monkeys... monkeys, I asked "yeah, mean monkeys" he said. The next morning he had had enough and decided that we needed to buy a new mattress. We don't have the money to buy a new mattress and to top it off I ran off to the grocery store with his debit card and spent double what I should have. I thought he was going to kill me! Luckily, when I got home the neighbor called me over and said that he had a brand new king sized mattress that he was giving away. They downsized their Phoenix house by about half the size and can't fit all of thir things in their new place. They are 80 and wanted to live where it was cooler. I was so excited because this dear man just saved my ass, and the money it would have cost to buy a new mattress. When Brian got home I quickly told him about the mattress, and added softly what I spent on groceries.

I imagine that when most couples move things that they communicate, you grab that end, we'll turn it on its side and I'll go first... things of that nature. Not Brian and I. We lift up and he yells at me for not doing what he is thinking, I throw down whatever I am helping to lift and tell him to do it his damn self. He tells me that I have no sense on how to move things, tries to do it himself and then has to come and apologize to me and promise that it won't happen again so that i will help him. Between moving our old mattress out, moving the new mattress in the garage while we moved the headboard into Oakley's room and then finally getting the new mattress in to our room, this happened about four or five times.

Now, over the past couple of days I have learned that a couple of people are concerned about my relationship and are wondering why I am considering getting married when we fight so much. I think that I should clarify that it's Brian's passion that I love about him. The fact that he gets so irritated and mad and we yell is just part of what I think is great about us. We don't do it in front of Oakley and we always end up crompromising and making up. If we got along all of the time I would get irritated and bored. I have been known to start stupid fights for this very same reason. He is teaching me to be less sensitive and I am teaching him to be less of an asshole. Someday this may even out in which case we will need to find something else to fight about.

Mother's Day Insults

As long as I have been doing clerical work I have never thought of myself as a secretary, although I don't know that we should have gone as far as to change Secretary's Day to Administrative Professional's Day. That makes it sound like a bunch of us had taken time from our typing to bitch about the title, while burning our bras and swapping recipes.

One day that I didn't think could be insulting was this Sunday, Mother's day. Saturday I was going to come in to work (I have been working my ass off to try and re enter hundreds of orders) but everyone who was also going to come in to work... well... didn't. So I decided that I was in need of some retail therapy and headed to the mall. I had just bought a new shirt the night before and it was spaghetti strapped, elastic over the boobs and then flowy (like the ones we all wore in the 80's) I just loved it. I found some perfume and decided to buy it, one because I haven't bought perfume for myself in a long time and two because my boyfriend told me a few days ago that I stunk. I had the lady at Dillards helping me and my total was around $45, she said that there is a free watch for orders over $58, "but since tomorrow is Mother's Day and you are WITH CHILD, I will give it to you anyways". I didn't know what to say so I smiled and took the watch, signed my receipt and went home very butt hurt. I have this stupid watch to show for it and I hate it, I want to slam it against my counters at home.

On Sunday I was with Oakley at the grocery store and everyone kept asking him if he did anything for me for Mother's Day. He's six and didn't know what to say... I'm not his mom! Poor thing, I know that everyone was just trying to be nice, but my hell! I have talked to other girls in the office that ran into the same thing. I don't know of any suggestions to fix all of this, but I sure do feel that I deserve to bitch. I am very proud of making it this far without children, don't wish me a Happy Mother's Day until I am ready to celebrate!

I will write more about the woes of free mattresses.

Jason accused me of "petering off" on my blog entries. I wanted to quote that because I thought it sounded funny and also point out that I have been working 13 hour days to try and save the company's ass and re enter lost data.

Sigh...

The system that we enter all of our orders in has been down for two days now. This should make me appreciate the technology more... but instead we all hate "stupid peachtree". Yesterday we had to write all orders by hand and I had to do all backorders by hand. Then today, once things are up and running, we will be able to go in and completely redo everything we did by hand yesterday. Why wasn't I sick this week instead? ; )

I watched Meet the Fockers last night. Brian and I really enjoyed it especially since we will be getting our families together soon for the wedding. They are beyond opposites also. Brian can't wait to get a bunch of people together that normally wouldn't hang out and just watch what happens. I can't stress about that though, there's plenty more to worry about. He really wants to push for the end of October. We still have to find out what the assessor estimated our house worth at to find out if we will even have the money to throw it all together.

My cat was such a sweet and well behaved kitten. Now she's so naughty all of the time! She is definitely testing boundaries. Last night she was on the kitchen counter looking at us to see if we were going to let her stay or not! The squirt bottle is getting a work out.

Male behavior

Living with two males has taught me a few things:

1. Wrestling and knocking eachother over until one or both are pissed off or crying is a term of endearment. Pretending to punch one in the head or fart on the other means you feel very deeply for that person.

2. NEVER sit down on any toilet seat without checking it first. Either it will be up, or wet, or any other unimaginable prospects.

4. Kittens are not meant to simply pet and look at. They should be placed on your head whenever possible and made to dance hula style.

5. Farting is very, very funny.

6. Cleaning food out of your beard or off of your face is not necessary until the meal is over and then it is usually done with the back of your hand.

7. Sleeping requires at least three pillows. Your mate only needs one.

8. Rocky is great entertainment. All five of them.

9. Putting laundry away means putting the entire load in one place, unfolded and out of sight. Hangers are a waste of time.

I know that I will continue to learn more and more and this is what scares me.

My weekend started off with a mini breakdown after my sister told me I may want to go on the atkins diet before getting married because I have a large ass. Brian didn't disagree right away and this led to absolute hysterics complete with covers over my head and toilet paper everywhere. I guess it didn't help that I had a heating pad in tow for my massive cramps. I can laugh about it now, but lord help anyone that tried to see the humor in it on Friday night.

We went yesterday to get directions from Brian's parents on how to take care of their house and Grandma while they are in Europe for a month.

I have decided that I would like all of my bridesmaids to perform the Nepolian Dynamite dance at my reception.