One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes
on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 "wolves" inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed,
arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false
pride, superiority,and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility,
kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and
faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his
grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
Author Unknown

I guess I scared some people with my blogs while being sad and having boyfriend problems. Rest assured, I am a big girl and even while crying I can handle my own. We are doing better now (for now).

I have decided that the song Total Eclipse of the Heart should be outlawed from station and allowed only in the comfort of you own home. How does it sneak on to your radio station in your car only when you feel so emotional and like your life is over? This always leads to crying and singing loudly. Losing your voice follows and snot on your face is pretty much a given. If I ever get elected in to office that's the first bill I will pass. I honestly haven't done much at work yet today. I should probably get on that.

I came outside today to find that my sidewalk (which has been ripped out for a couple of days to be fixed) has been repaved in exactly the same way that it was before. The non-curb part of our driveway is halfway in our yard. At first I wanted to track down the cement truck and yell at them, but they did have to put up with me at 7:30 this morning madder than a hornet because they were asking me to move my car. This included having to fold my arms to hold my boobs since I didn't even bother to put on a bra, or hide the fact that I was giving them death glares.

I have attached pictures of us hanging out. Brian and his dad were hanging blinds while the rest of us were repotting my house plants and hanging out on the porch.

I rely on my illusions to keep me warm at night.

SO

I spent last night at Brian's parent's house, in Oakley's room on his day bed. I woke up this morning still crying. The Johnson's no more tears shampoo in the shower did nothing for mine.

I have had like eight million funny stories to tell from since Labor day til now, but have been so busy. Mostly not busy, but lethargic. Lethargic because I am not dieting until next Monday and in the meantime I have been eating cookies for breakfast. Not small cookies, large ones. Not chocoloate chips (except for the ones Allison baked and brought in to work with the morsels. I must have thought morsels meant small, or tid bit because I think I may have eaten the majority of the tempting morsels) chocolate chunks. Large ones on the large cookies. Wash it down with some crab dip, potato salad, and a sandwich and you got yourself a reason to struggle putting on your pants. I saw What not to wear this weekend and a woman had like my exact same style. Could you just die?! Oh yeah, but then I figure once I am uncomfortable in my chair that I should drink a lot of water and maybe take a multi vitamin... and refresh my lipstick. A girl has to hold on to her looks after all.

My must go home.

Visions of Hash Browns danced in my head.

I showed up to work today with my pants on backwards. That pretty much begins to sum things up. I dreamt last night of hash browns, gravy and chicken fried steak. I went to work a half hour early so that I could stop at the Blue Hills Cafe and eat breakfast. I was a very happy girl, however about a half hour later my stomach realized that it hated me. Hated me very much.

While I was at the Cafe the couple sitting next to me bowed their heads and prayed before they ate. I don't know why but little things like that still surprise me about living in a small community. We are growing so much and most of the implanted people are from Southern California because we have the mild climate with the small town feel. We also have Phoenix close for the city life and Sedona close for a retreat. It really is a great place to be. Sometimes I feel dumb being in Dewey, which is nothing more than a rest stop on the freeway. It's growing though, and it will take our property value with it.

I am so very excited to have three days off. Tomorrow I am the only person in customer service, let's hope no huge disasters surface. If so, maybe I can put them off until Tuesday.