I have officially started the "maybe this isn't so much fun" part of my third trimester. Which - is to be followed by the "I hate the world" and then "I am going to reach out and get this kid out myself if it doesn't come soon" part of the third trimester.
First off - I'm pretty sure that my doctor's office has stock in the lab. They sent me to get 6 vials of blood drawn and two urine samples taken in a matter of a week and a half. Even though my glucose test was fine they said that the second draw was one point high so I have to follow the gestational diabetes diet which has me eating seven, yes seven, times a day. And not fun things like cake and hamburgers. String cheese, boiled eggs, etc. I am sick of chewing. On top of that I'm anemic and have to take Iron pills twice a day (on top of all the other prenatals and fish oils) that make me sick.
I have never had trouble sleeping. Ever. If anything I have trouble waking and staying awake. Now even though I'm exhausted I lay there with my eyes wide open. Every time I need to change positions I grunt and exhale as if I were performing a task for the Olympics.
The other night my ankles were so swollen that I had to laugh out loud. I had never seen one of my body parts in such an unknown position. About an inch up my leg was literally rolled over and touching the top of my foot. Not unlike an elephant's foot. Not even cankles. Just thigh - followed directly by swollen toes.
My anger goes from zero to 800 in no time at all. I boil over anything (but mostly nearly everything my husband says or does) I'm pretty sure that he's expecting my head to begin spinning around any time now.
Yes - I'm cranky but I'm also still elated. The baby is moving so much that my whole belly moves. I just lay there and watch her. I get to have my 3d ultrasound on the 6th of September so I get to see her little face. I read that she recognizes my voice (now if it were saying more than just cuss words!) I feel like I know her a little bit and that we share our own secrets. She is so close to me right now and I love it. I drum on my belly for her and sing country songs loudly. I stare at every little girl that I see these days and wonder what mine will be like. It's like I'm cranky outwards but completely dreamy inwards.
Despite being uncomfortable and waddling and breathing heavy I consider myself truly blessed.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Book Reviews
I read a ton of books and have decided to start talking about them on my blog - if not for anything else but for me to keep track of what I read and what I liked or disliked! (gotta love pregnancy brain)
Ignore the Search Inside logos - obviously I stole the cover shots from Amazon.com!
First of all - I love me some T.C. Boyle (or T.Coraghessan Boyle as his friends call him). One of the few authors that I check out the jacket cover picture more than once while reading his book. He looks like a more intense Gene Wilder in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and loves to pose in his vests and disheveled hair. I have read his collection of short stories and Tortilla Curtain. What strikes me as most interesting about his stories is that he points out a million ironies - without making a personal statement. Tortilla Curtain was about illegal Mexican Immigrants but you still wouldn't know if he was for or against border control. Drop City was about a hippie compound and a "mountain man" in Alaska and how their paths meet. He is by far the king of comparison and contrast and his books really make you think.
This book really hit home for me. I'm at a point in my life where I am beginning to think a little less liberal than I once did. I was a self-proclaimed hippie but now realize that it is a title that many hide behind. Like musician. Many musicians aren't musicians, they are people that don't want to work and would like to drink all day and have sex with random girls/guys. Many people (ahem Oakley's mother) claim to be hippies when really they're just lazy and can't handle being held accountable for their actions. They choose not to work at certain places or to live near that mountains for their "energy" when really they need to get their asses out of the woods and into the nearest Denny's to support their free love children. Also, they can't be choosey about where they live. And, even if you are picky about where you live... then why in the hell would you choose not to keep it clean? Isn't clutter bad for your CHI? And - this is the one that really gets me... if you're so anti-establishment how DARE you accept public assistance! The 17-year old Nisha would not have said these things.
The book makes you compare and consider -
- prostitution vs. free love vs. using your body and looks to get what you want
- living off the land vs. ruining the land
- vegetarians vs. meat eaters vs. fur trappers (and killing bugs vs. animals)
- revenge
- using ideals as they were meant vs for your own personal gain
- views of a woman's role in the world
And a whole lot more. And you're not spoon fed, not at all. He is subtle and you are constantly stopping to think.
Augusten Burroughs, how I love thee! I poured over Running with Scissors and Dry but have to admit that I really loved Magical Thinking. There were parts of Running w/ Scissors that made me cringe and perhaps Dry hit a little too close to home and my years of drinking profusely. Magical Thinking was very David Sedaris like (who I adore and would love to have lunch with someday. Picture it: Me, him, Stevie - a buffet! That's heaven right there is what it is). The only difference is he's a tad darker than Sedaris, which is ok by me. I do have to admit to skipping over one of the stories becaue it was about killing a rat thing and it made me too sad. I feel like I can hear the collective groans but I couldn't handle to think of him being sprayed with roach spray, helpless in a bathtub. I also feel like I need to say that anyone that saw the movie Running with Scissors and based their decision on the book on that monstrosity - please think again. The book is 10x better. I know that everyone says that but I haven't had such a horrible book vs movie comparison since Memoirs of a Geisha, which I turned off after 10 minutes.
Burroughs is so raw and candid. Coming from a person that feels the need to divulge too much of myself to people this is very refreshing.
Also - if you're looking for an afternoon read I suggest My Horizontal Life, Confessions of a One-Night Stand by Chelsea Handler (from girls behaving badly). She is definitely much more of a comedian than a writer but once you get past that it's very enjoyable. Much like Jenny McCarthy Belly Laughs - take it for what it is and it will give back. I laughed out loud quite a few times. The way she described the naked midget jumping down off of the toilet about sent me over the edge. Or the man with the penis so small that it was like a little clitoris... classic! (p.s. can't say I can relate to the midget but the little penis thing - oh yeah). So for any girls that have had a drunken, hotacious period in their life this book is for you. . . and me!
Lab Strut
My glucose test came back just fine and that's a huge relief. Not to say that the test wasn't a pain in the ass. But, like most things - the building up to it was worse. It's like with getting my blood drawn, I hate it and I'm petrified of needles. But the moments leading up to getting my blood drawn are much worse than the action itself. Yes, the prick hurts but it's almost a relief when it finally happens. Speaking of which, my arms look like that of a heroin addict. Well, perhaps not that bad but they are pretty bruised. One woman missed the vein and dug with the needle until she found it. I was very relieved when I didn't get her again for the other three blood draws. The test didn't make me as sick as I thought it would but I was sure stuck on stupid. After not eating and drinking pure sugar I could hardly finish a full sentence. I can't tell you how excited I was to learn that Meagan and I were going to the Pizza Hut buffet afterwards. I walked in there like a champ and was like "let's get this over with" and after my fourth blood draw I'm pretty sure I strutted out of that lab.
My 3d ultrasound is scheduled! September 6, at 10:00. Sooooo excited to see what she looks like. Every time Brian and I get into the conversation of "I hope she has my _____ and your____" we end up offending eachother. He didn't know that I didn't want my children to have his thin lips. I didn't know that he wasn't a huge fan of my button nose!
I had another doctor's appointment yesterday and I am up 8 lbs total for the pregnancy. I am so relieved but know that this trimester is when the real action happens!
I have honestly loved the second trimester. For all my complaining I have had quite a bit of energy and have just been so happy and dreamy. I spend a lot of time in Evelynn's nursery touching all of her stuff and taking stuff out of drawers just to put them back in. Of course, money's a stress - but people do it every day with much less. Lord knows I didn't have a beautiful nursery or a closet full of things. I had young parents that lived in the basement of a friend's hotel. A haunted hotel at that! I can see why God made the third trimester so difficult. You have to be so sick of being pregnant to be ok with labor. If someone told me I was to give birth tomorrow I would not be ok - pregnancy isn't that bad! Sure I have a huge supply of Tums on my dresser, my gums bleed and I'm beginning to waddle. But I can live with this.
Oakley and I are reading Superfudge and that has been a huge help in him accepting the baby. He gets excited to read everynight and understands what he's reading and breaks out in huge belly laughs. Especially when Fudge tries to sell his little sister. He told me last night that he can't wait to see his sister. That's the first time he's said something endearing like that. Up until now he has just requested ear plugs so that he can sleep through the night.
Oh! At the doctor's office I nearly passed out. I was sitting there and broke out into a cold sweat like nothing I've ever experienced and saw spots. I had to lay down with my arms over my head. It took FOREVER for the doctor to come in and when she did I quickly told her that something just wasn't right. She said it was hypoglecemia (or is it hyper) and went to get me some cheese and a juice box. I felt better fairly quickly. Apparently I need to eat more than a bowl of frosted mini wheats in the morning. AND - they think I may have a UTI and I need to go to the lab and give a urine sample. I have put this off. I am so sick of that damn place!
My 3d ultrasound is scheduled! September 6, at 10:00. Sooooo excited to see what she looks like. Every time Brian and I get into the conversation of "I hope she has my _____ and your____" we end up offending eachother. He didn't know that I didn't want my children to have his thin lips. I didn't know that he wasn't a huge fan of my button nose!
I had another doctor's appointment yesterday and I am up 8 lbs total for the pregnancy. I am so relieved but know that this trimester is when the real action happens!
I have honestly loved the second trimester. For all my complaining I have had quite a bit of energy and have just been so happy and dreamy. I spend a lot of time in Evelynn's nursery touching all of her stuff and taking stuff out of drawers just to put them back in. Of course, money's a stress - but people do it every day with much less. Lord knows I didn't have a beautiful nursery or a closet full of things. I had young parents that lived in the basement of a friend's hotel. A haunted hotel at that! I can see why God made the third trimester so difficult. You have to be so sick of being pregnant to be ok with labor. If someone told me I was to give birth tomorrow I would not be ok - pregnancy isn't that bad! Sure I have a huge supply of Tums on my dresser, my gums bleed and I'm beginning to waddle. But I can live with this.
Oakley and I are reading Superfudge and that has been a huge help in him accepting the baby. He gets excited to read everynight and understands what he's reading and breaks out in huge belly laughs. Especially when Fudge tries to sell his little sister. He told me last night that he can't wait to see his sister. That's the first time he's said something endearing like that. Up until now he has just requested ear plugs so that he can sleep through the night.
Oh! At the doctor's office I nearly passed out. I was sitting there and broke out into a cold sweat like nothing I've ever experienced and saw spots. I had to lay down with my arms over my head. It took FOREVER for the doctor to come in and when she did I quickly told her that something just wasn't right. She said it was hypoglecemia (or is it hyper) and went to get me some cheese and a juice box. I felt better fairly quickly. Apparently I need to eat more than a bowl of frosted mini wheats in the morning. AND - they think I may have a UTI and I need to go to the lab and give a urine sample. I have put this off. I am so sick of that damn place!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Will give blood for cake
I've probably mentioned before that my future daughter enjoys cake - and her mother enjoys this craving also. For breakfast, lunch a snack - I love me some cake.
When I was only a few months pregnant I had a dream that I was walking through the baby clothes section of a department store, touching everything and crying because I had been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. This became one of my "weekly fears" (which have been everything from SIDS, pooping on the table, autism, downs and the baby loving her dad more than me). I cut down on the sugar a little bit but not all the way.
Fast forward to week 27 of my pregnancy and my 1-hour glucose test. The nurse practioner told me to cut out sugar for two days before it and eat a breakfast with protein beforehand. I thought I had it in the bag. I ate an egg-filled tortilla before the test and forced down the nasty orange concoction. 4 vials of blood and an hour later I was out the door and feeling very woozy. I honestly probably shouldn't have driven home.
On Tuesday my doctor's office called to say that they had test results back. I knew that meant something because they said that they would just go over the test results at my next app't (Monday the 20th) I called the next morning and she said that I am low on Iron and asked if I had been feeling tired. Hhhhhmmmm. Let me think - tired, pregnant - hell yes I'm feeling tired! Then I thought - HOT DAMN! I'm just low on Iron! Nope - not just low on Iron. They want your blood sugar below140 and mine was 152. SO I have to do the three hour test.
This has brought up so many of my irrational thoughts. I'm not good at being pregnant. Other women are better than me. If I weren't overweight, or had willpower to not eat cake then I would be fine. The doctor even told me that 90% of the time the 3-hour tests come out negative. But just that I have to be retested has sent me into a completely irrational spiral. I know that it has a lot to do with horomones and the emotions of pregnancy but I am so upset with myself. I went to bed at 8 last night and couldn't wake up this morning for the life of me. I had dreams that I couldn't remember which foods had protein in them.
Even if I do have gd then it's not the end of the world. I will just have to monitor my diet. I know this. I also know that 2-7% of women get it and that it goes away after pregnancy. I know that I'm lucky to have a healthy baby in me and a healthy pregnancy (as far as I can tell). Perhaps it's the thought of a retest. I wast the girl in Elementary school that NEVER had to retake her spelling test on Friday because I always aced it on Wednesday. Sometimes I did so well that I got to GIVE the Friday spelling test. Oh yes - I was that freakin cool.
Right now I want to cry. I picture the disapproving looks from other mom's with their Eddie Bauer strollers and sweaters perched on their shoulders when I tell them that I failed my one-hour glucose test. They will then tell me that they ate completely organic, met with their personal trainer daily and gave birth completely natural. Irrational? Yes - I know this. But when did a pregnant woman (with or without her Eddie Bauer stroller) ever claim to be rational? That's like claiming to not be tired.
When I was only a few months pregnant I had a dream that I was walking through the baby clothes section of a department store, touching everything and crying because I had been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. This became one of my "weekly fears" (which have been everything from SIDS, pooping on the table, autism, downs and the baby loving her dad more than me). I cut down on the sugar a little bit but not all the way.
Fast forward to week 27 of my pregnancy and my 1-hour glucose test. The nurse practioner told me to cut out sugar for two days before it and eat a breakfast with protein beforehand. I thought I had it in the bag. I ate an egg-filled tortilla before the test and forced down the nasty orange concoction. 4 vials of blood and an hour later I was out the door and feeling very woozy. I honestly probably shouldn't have driven home.
On Tuesday my doctor's office called to say that they had test results back. I knew that meant something because they said that they would just go over the test results at my next app't (Monday the 20th) I called the next morning and she said that I am low on Iron and asked if I had been feeling tired. Hhhhhmmmm. Let me think - tired, pregnant - hell yes I'm feeling tired! Then I thought - HOT DAMN! I'm just low on Iron! Nope - not just low on Iron. They want your blood sugar below140 and mine was 152. SO I have to do the three hour test.
This has brought up so many of my irrational thoughts. I'm not good at being pregnant. Other women are better than me. If I weren't overweight, or had willpower to not eat cake then I would be fine. The doctor even told me that 90% of the time the 3-hour tests come out negative. But just that I have to be retested has sent me into a completely irrational spiral. I know that it has a lot to do with horomones and the emotions of pregnancy but I am so upset with myself. I went to bed at 8 last night and couldn't wake up this morning for the life of me. I had dreams that I couldn't remember which foods had protein in them.
Even if I do have gd then it's not the end of the world. I will just have to monitor my diet. I know this. I also know that 2-7% of women get it and that it goes away after pregnancy. I know that I'm lucky to have a healthy baby in me and a healthy pregnancy (as far as I can tell). Perhaps it's the thought of a retest. I wast the girl in Elementary school that NEVER had to retake her spelling test on Friday because I always aced it on Wednesday. Sometimes I did so well that I got to GIVE the Friday spelling test. Oh yes - I was that freakin cool.
Right now I want to cry. I picture the disapproving looks from other mom's with their Eddie Bauer strollers and sweaters perched on their shoulders when I tell them that I failed my one-hour glucose test. They will then tell me that they ate completely organic, met with their personal trainer daily and gave birth completely natural. Irrational? Yes - I know this. But when did a pregnant woman (with or without her Eddie Bauer stroller) ever claim to be rational? That's like claiming to not be tired.
Monday, August 06, 2007
My Baby Shower
My shower was super fantastic.
Heather, Clara and Brandy all did such a great job. It wasn't too cheesey and it was decorated so cute. Pink and Green everywhere.
I thought that with me having a little girl that there would be a lot of little outfits, hats and shoes that she would grow out of quickly but people were extremely practical. Diapers, onsies, wash cloths, etc. And Believe Me - I'm not complaining. Plus, this means I get to buy all the little outfits that she will grow right out of! : )
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