Nitrate Meltdown

I know that it should probably go without saying, but make it a general rule to never eat at a Chinese Buffet. Especially one who's sign says Ch a Buff t because of burnt out neon letters. Brian and I would pass it all of the time and he would beg to go. I thought he was kidding in the beginning, my culinary genius begging for that place? I finally gave in last night and we went. Before we even left he said that he was on Nitrate Meltdown, meaning that all of the food has too many salts and MSG in it so it gives people a headache. By the time I got home I was on the floor and very unhappy. I had to sleep in Oakley's bed because my stomach was upset and I was so restless.

We are halfway looking for a puppy. I took it a couple steps too far and called to set up appointments with some of the foster parents. Brian and I decided this morning that we should wait until we have more money to invest and perhaps monsoon season is over so our backyard isn't a mud wrestling pit. I cancelled the appointments this morning. Instead we are probably going to take Oakley to Walmart tonight to pick out a fish or something small like that. I'm afraid he may have his hopes set on getting a dog soon. Maybe for his birthday or Christmas.

Rain on my parade... please!

My birthday has been so amazing. It is raining and thundering out side and the sky is a sad blue. I love this weather, the kind that makes you want to stay in bed with the one you love all day. Speaking of the one I love, I have the most beautiful red roses that he brought me on my desk in a mason jar. That's perfect. We are going to dinner tonight.

I think this is the best birthday I've ever had. My future in laws had us over for lunch yesterday and gave me the sweetest card and some houseplants for the house (they don't know me at all huh? Mud pie and houseplants... just like roses in a mason jar).

Brian's grandma (who I absolutely adore) took out her jewelry box and told me to pick something out for my birthday since I've been so good to her. Hello? Tears much? She went through and told me the stories of all of the items while the whole family sat at the kitchen table. It's like Hallmark come to life. I chose a necklace that was her great aunts.

One day you wake up and realize that your life has finally begun. You assume every role that you knew you would and run with them. I am very, very lucky. Today is truly a day to celebrate.

Eyelash Wishes

I suppose it was a little naive of me to think that I could blow a stray eyelash off of my fingertip and wish for the mediation to go well. Oakley's mom and Brian went through mediation yesterday and we learned that there's a reason that Arizona is viewed as a pro-mother state. Although we are clearly the better environment and household for him to be in, unless Oakley is in immediate danger they will not attempt to take him from his mother. This breaks my heart. We don't want to take him completely from his mom, we just want to give him the kind of life that he deserves and isn't getting. Hopefully one day things will look up. All I can do now is try to be the best mother figure that I can and be there for him 100%.

The trip was actually a lot of fun. It was nice to see my family and catch up with a lot of people. My Uncle Jim's family is an absolute kick in the ass. I always leave there with my cheeks on fire from laughing so hard. My cousin's new wife fits in perfect and is a great addition to the clan! I got to see my favorite person in the whole world, my Grandma Fran and even though she is in the nursing home with advanced alzheimers, I saw a glimpse of the woman I love and idolize. I just had to look really deep in her eyes to find it.

I was able to see friends that I haven't been able to set quality time aside for in past visits. Sorry Jason and Anna! It's not easy with a jury trial and all. ; ) But I do think of them often and love them very much.

Mostly it was just so great to reconnect with Heather. It's the third time we've done the trip and this time it was under the best circumstances. Most people would get sick of someone else, but once I got home I had to keep myself from calling her a few times a day to catch up!

Of course, I didn't plan on being the pathetic girlfriend that misses her boyfriend so bad it hurts. Brian and I had only spent one other night apart before this trip. I thought I would be fine but I missed him tremendously from the moment I started to drive off. I'm sure I drove people crazy, but I couldn't help it... thanks all for being so patient when/if I was whining.

Tracey is still as beautiful and fantastic as ever and Austin just fills my heart with joy. I am completely at home with those two and it's a really great feeling.

It was also great to see my dad, sister and brother. LaMont and I went shopping together and I got him the new Harry Potter book. I was just so excited to have a sibling that is as excited about books as I am! Clara and I went shopping and she was an enormous help and really great for my self image. I didn't feel fat around her and had a blast in Lane Bryant (ahem... I am the SMALLEST size there after all!) LOVED IT! My dad looks so great, he looks younger than I ever remember him looking. Like he did in pictures when I was a little girl.

I got all three seasons of the Newlyweds for my birthday and I am the happiest girl in the world! I have been watching that and hanging out with my cat and Oakley. It's always nice to get to go and see your family, but when you come home to your future husband and step son it makes you realize that you really do choose your family. I love mine.

Off to the land of Zion

My trip is finally here. Tonight I will go as far as Flagstaff and crash at Heather's and then we will go to St George tomorrow and visit some of her friends, stay the night there and head to Utah on Thursday. I have a ton of stuff planned and a ton of people to see. We'll see if it actually all pans out, it usually doesn't. Kind of like everything that I planned on getting done this weekend! Ha! I hardly did any of it. I ended up going out Friday night and getting hammered. I haven't done that in so long and learned quickly that I'm not very good at it anymore. It was just supposed to be a couple of beers over dinner. I skipped dinner and drank like 8 beers at Outback and then proceeded to go down town with Meagan and close the bar. I spent the next day puking and miserable. I'm getting old! ; )

Oakley lost another tooth last night. He freaks out and needs a band-aid over a hang nail but came up to me with a bloody kleenex, mouth and tooth like it was no problem! I couldn't believe it. He said that the tooth fairy must have already been asleep so he will put it under his pillow tonight at his mom's. Last time she gave him candy... doesn't that seem a little counter productive as a tooth fairy?

I actually have ZERO emails in my in box at work. That hasn't happened in forever! Scared of when I get back, but for now I can actually relax (knock on wood) on my vacation!

Friday Night

I can't believe how quickly my trip to Utah snuck up on me. I thought that I had forever and now suddenly I have a ton of stuff to do and I want to be caught up on work too. I would hate to come back and be in trouble for dropping a ball or something. I guess that'st he big nerd in me that worries so.

Tonight it is to the Outback for happy hour, laundry this weekend, haircut tomorrow, take my car to the shop on Monday, I'm getting my kitty fixed on Tuesday and leaving Tuesday night for Flagstaff. Gotta love procrastination. It's nice to know that most of the people I am visiting are also poor so perhaps I won't be the only one trying not to spend too much money. I'm not getting paid for my vacation so I need to be pretty thrifty because the smaller check will come out right about that time.

A ton of people at work have birthdays this month so we're all going to be fat on cake. We've already had two. Oh geez, but at least one of them is mine! ha ha.

Damn Perky

Oakley is so damn cute, I had to put a picture of him in here.

I was told that I seemed much too negative in my last post, so now I am going to be (as my dad would say) Pep, pep PEPPY! No, actually I'm not. I think that I would make myself want to vomit, like girls like that usually do.

Honestly though, I am (sort of) positive. But I have the right to be butt hurt and go home and take it out on my boyfriend don't I?

My sister and I got into it and haven't talked for four days, this happens every once in a while, but I hope that we start talking by the time I go to Utah to see everyone next week!

Brian's job has me so mad, and I can completely relate because I used to work for the same place. They don't deserve a man with his amazing work ethic and talent. I have half a mind to tell them but he's determined to stay and be the bigger man.

Last night I weighed myself and then I did it again this morning and was four pounds lighter, how in the hell does that work? Why am I not skinny yet? Argh.

Nightmare on Mercado Street

So, not last night but the night before I had dreams that I was working all night. I had to sleep in Oakley's bed because I was keeping Brian up. I woke up at one point trying to put "paperwork" on his night stand. I didn't get a wink of sleep.

Last night I had nightmares all night about family members that still haunt me. All day I have still been so angry and irritated that things still bug me and will never change. I got a call from my sister to hear that the same old stuff is up. I have a rash and I can barely breathe. I should have known. At least I don't have to see them though, not that I would have gone out of my way to do so.

I want to go home early today. I have a ton of over time hours from this week anyways.