Dear Mr. Webster,
Please take pity on a first time preggo. I don't know what most of this stuff means. Even after reading online it is difficult. Layman's (sp?) terms please. Thanks!
Dear Preggo book & website authors,
I need you all to put your heads together and get on the same page! It is ridiculous that one person says one thing, while three others say another. I was cross-eyed over the weekend trying to figure out what the hell I could eat or do! Also, can you make it more clear that a miscarriage is not caused by a woman drinking too much caffeine or eating tuna fish, it is from an unhealthy fetus which we have no control over. That information would have been extremely helpful in the beginning while I was petrified that lunch meat may or may not kill my cute little parasite (as I've started calling it much to Brian's horror). Of course, the lunch meat theory is not present in all reports or websites!
What I've learned so far:
~ Listen to your own instinct. I KNEW that I was pregnant despite two negative pregnancy tests. Don't listen to everyone else or start to doubt yourself. Trusting your instinct is a very powerful skill that you will need in 9 months - when everyone will try to tell you what is best for your child.
~ Take all of the prenatal information and put it towards the back of your head. Enjoy this. Nothing you can do can change whether or not God has other intentions for this fetus. When people tell you "not to get your hopes up just in case" kick them in the shins. They are probably the same people that recited the newest divorce statistics when you announced your engagement.
~ HcG is good. We want this to continue to double and triple. For the first time in your life a foreign horomone multiplying is a fantastic thing. Friday the 9th = 66. Tuesday = 590 & Today = 1515!
~ Don't apologize if you panic. This is the first time that you have been through this! When you start spotting at work and think that you are miscarrying and bawl in front of everyone... it's ok. You don't owe any apologies and you would look much more ridiculous if you didn't seem to care.
~ The brain decreases by 8% during pregnancy. This is a valuable excuse as well as... what was I talking about again?
~ Enjoy and write down all that you can. Things have already started to become foggy.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Monday, March 12, 2007
And, the blog is tilted in a different direction
Up until now I have talked about my struggle to get my little brain around being overweight. The reasons for it, what I can do about it, etc. Now, I must gain at least 25 pounds in the next 9 months. Doctor's orders!
Yep, you guessed it right... I'm 6 weeks pregnant!
I have made the decision that I don't want to milk this and sit at home w/ fuzzy slippers and bon bons. Yes, I'm SO exhausted and nauseaus and scared and my boobs hurt like hell. But I'm not handicapped! The best thing I can do is eat right and excercise. And, you know how I talked about battles and how it's easier to do the right thing for others? I actually think about what I am putting in my mouth lately! Go figure! I'm not doing this for me anymore, I need to be healthy for a real little one that is growing in me. . . not a hypothetical someday child anymore.
Also, I am petrified of miscarrying. I am counting down the days until I hit the 11 week mark and the likelyhood is decreased. We've already told so many people... I would just hate to have to tell them bad news. We have had so many elated relatives. It has been so much fun.
Yep, you guessed it right... I'm 6 weeks pregnant!
I have made the decision that I don't want to milk this and sit at home w/ fuzzy slippers and bon bons. Yes, I'm SO exhausted and nauseaus and scared and my boobs hurt like hell. But I'm not handicapped! The best thing I can do is eat right and excercise. And, you know how I talked about battles and how it's easier to do the right thing for others? I actually think about what I am putting in my mouth lately! Go figure! I'm not doing this for me anymore, I need to be healthy for a real little one that is growing in me. . . not a hypothetical someday child anymore.
Also, I am petrified of miscarrying. I am counting down the days until I hit the 11 week mark and the likelyhood is decreased. We've already told so many people... I would just hate to have to tell them bad news. We have had so many elated relatives. It has been so much fun.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Battles
I have been thinking lately about battles. We all have them, but the difference is which ones we choose to take head on. The saying "choose your battles" is true in a million instances throughout our daily lives.
::Said like Carrie Bradshaw::
But I can't help but wonder, when it comes to choosing our battles have we chosen wrong?
Some battles aren't ours to fight, and this can be very frustrating. In the matter of Oakley's mom and my husband, it isn't my battle. I am in the ring, but on the sidelines.. rubbing Brian's shoulders and spraying water in his mouth. But, when he goes to bat there is literally nothing I can do. If I were to run in there and put in my two cents I would just be looked at like "helloooo!? This isn't your fight!" For someone like me who loves my husband and stepson and wants to protect them from all that I can, this just kills me. It is a battle in itself to stay out of it. Believe me, I have put myself out there more times than I can count, but this just leads to complete defeat and feelings of helplessness.
Other battles probably are't as important but these are the ones that we seem to approach with the most gusto. We gear up in our armor with shield and sword and lunge towards our husband because "gasp" he didn't put the clothes away correctly, or (fill in your own example here). Lately, when an ex-friend decided that she hated me and to treat me like pondscum I couldn't confront her on it. One - because we're at work. Two - because I was so angry that I might cry and I hate that because it takes away from how angry I really am. Brian made the comment "why don't you lay into her like you lay into me sometimes?" I couldn't agree with him more, why am I able to be such a flaming bitch to those that I love but not to those who deserve it? More importantly, why is it easier to stand up for those that I love than it is myself? A tip from counseling? Choose your favorite childhood toy and imagine that what is being done to you is being done to them, then proceed accordingly. I went off on some people that had hurt my little "snow tiger!"
My mother passed away when I was 4 1/2 and when I was 16 I found a note that she had written days before she died that hit a core. She wrote "do I surround myself with other people's problems so that I don't have to face my own?" I felt as if my heart had spilled on to the page! I am guilty of that now as I was then. I have had to battle to make myself aware of being too helpful, to the point that I am no longer facing my own demons.
The main battle that I have chosen to ignore lately? The dreaded weight battle. When I should be putting on my armor (or tennis shoes) I have chosen to battle the dishes or laundry... or the leftover pie. When I should be focused and steadfast I have been distracted.
It is so easy to put ourselves on a shelf. I can't imagine that this will get any easier, especially once I have kids. I want so much to be a good example for my children and to teach them healthy choices. I want them to be confident and happy.
Perhaps we could all stand to do some reconfiguring in our lives. The next time our husband does something irritating, choose not to round up the troops. And, the next time that we are treated unfairly, get out your jousting pole and show them what you are made of! Realize when to step up and when to step back. Also, realize when you are just marching in place and need a good smack on the ass to make something happen! Most of all, choose wisely.
::Said like Carrie Bradshaw::
But I can't help but wonder, when it comes to choosing our battles have we chosen wrong?
Some battles aren't ours to fight, and this can be very frustrating. In the matter of Oakley's mom and my husband, it isn't my battle. I am in the ring, but on the sidelines.. rubbing Brian's shoulders and spraying water in his mouth. But, when he goes to bat there is literally nothing I can do. If I were to run in there and put in my two cents I would just be looked at like "helloooo!? This isn't your fight!" For someone like me who loves my husband and stepson and wants to protect them from all that I can, this just kills me. It is a battle in itself to stay out of it. Believe me, I have put myself out there more times than I can count, but this just leads to complete defeat and feelings of helplessness.
Other battles probably are't as important but these are the ones that we seem to approach with the most gusto. We gear up in our armor with shield and sword and lunge towards our husband because "gasp" he didn't put the clothes away correctly, or (fill in your own example here). Lately, when an ex-friend decided that she hated me and to treat me like pondscum I couldn't confront her on it. One - because we're at work. Two - because I was so angry that I might cry and I hate that because it takes away from how angry I really am. Brian made the comment "why don't you lay into her like you lay into me sometimes?" I couldn't agree with him more, why am I able to be such a flaming bitch to those that I love but not to those who deserve it? More importantly, why is it easier to stand up for those that I love than it is myself? A tip from counseling? Choose your favorite childhood toy and imagine that what is being done to you is being done to them, then proceed accordingly. I went off on some people that had hurt my little "snow tiger!"
My mother passed away when I was 4 1/2 and when I was 16 I found a note that she had written days before she died that hit a core. She wrote "do I surround myself with other people's problems so that I don't have to face my own?" I felt as if my heart had spilled on to the page! I am guilty of that now as I was then. I have had to battle to make myself aware of being too helpful, to the point that I am no longer facing my own demons.
The main battle that I have chosen to ignore lately? The dreaded weight battle. When I should be putting on my armor (or tennis shoes) I have chosen to battle the dishes or laundry... or the leftover pie. When I should be focused and steadfast I have been distracted.
It is so easy to put ourselves on a shelf. I can't imagine that this will get any easier, especially once I have kids. I want so much to be a good example for my children and to teach them healthy choices. I want them to be confident and happy.
Perhaps we could all stand to do some reconfiguring in our lives. The next time our husband does something irritating, choose not to round up the troops. And, the next time that we are treated unfairly, get out your jousting pole and show them what you are made of! Realize when to step up and when to step back. Also, realize when you are just marching in place and need a good smack on the ass to make something happen! Most of all, choose wisely.
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