Month 7.5 (and 6)

Dear Evie,

While you were still in my belly daddy and I would talk about which features we hoped you'd have. My lips (daddy has none), his chin (I lack there but seem to be growing a few others) and so on. We are delighted to find out that you are the perfect mix of both of us - and we're shocked to find that two average looking people can create such a beautiful little girl. We've been told on many occasions that we need to get you an agent and, while this is very flattering, this is the furthest thing from our minds.

One thing that I didn't wish on you was chronic consipation. And oh - do you have it bad. You have gone as long as 4+ days without pooping. Most grown and very strong men would be grumpy after just two - but not you. You are still the most pleasant, good-natured happy baby. Sure, you have your moments of squawking and being demanding, but for a little girl that doesn't sleep or poop it's really unbelievable. We tried everything; lots of water, prune juice, apple juice, apple prune juice, dark karo syrup, rectal thermometer and then finally ... suppositories. And then you delivered five of the biggest poops I've ever seen come out in my life. All I could do was cry and hold your legs up while you screamed, sweat and pushed. A part of me blamed myself. I thought back to the many times that I sat on the toilet as a little girl and cried. I thought about the times that it was easier to just not go than to go through the torture of giving fecal birth. I apologize for this part of my heredity - hopefully you'll acquire my ability to crack yourself up to make up for it. This comes in handy.

We finally went to the pediatrician and she has you on a daily does of Miralax. So far so good. She did a rectal exam and you didn't even cry. You are SO tough I can't even believe it. You bonk your head, fall over and so on and don't shed a tear. This was not handed down from me (I will pause a second while the readers that know me giggle and nod their heads) I am not physically tough. I am the girl that rode her breaks all the way down a steep hill to prevent from falling. You throw yourself off of my lap and love the sensation of falling backwards.

One more thing you can thank me for - allergies. Sorry 'bout that one. All that congestion and such wasn't a lingering cold. The doctor said that it should be much worse this time next year because you will understand more and will try to itch your face more. We only did benadryl a few times at bed time. I may stock up for allergy season next year.

Speaking of pain tolerance - um... you could've mentioned that you were teething! I knew that it was coming up because you would get a little cranky and get rosey cheeks but on Friday, June 6th I came home from work and daddy casually mentioned that you had a tooth! I jumped up and grabbed you and stuck my finger in your mouth. Sure enough you had your first tooth all the way cut through! We danced around and sang made-up "toofer" songs and you seemed genuinely proud of your accomplishment. The next day I announced to a friend that you had a tooth. She felt in there and lo and behold - there were TWO teeth! So you are my little jack-o-lantern now with your two bottom teeth. I have yet to get a picture. You guard those little suckers with that tongue!

I was home from work for three weeks and you and I were able to spend a whole lotta quality time together. This has been so wonderful but it has also developed a case of separation anxiety. You don't like it when I even leave a room and you have learned how to hold out your arms to me when you want to be picked up. This is not a nice trick since I had a hard time putting you down to begin with. For so long I felt like I was just a food source and a set of boobs, now I'm the person that you want more than anyone else - even daddy! And he lets you ride the dog and has been known to place you in salad bowls!

You went on your first weekend trip to Pahrump, NV to see your grandma on Mother's Day. The 5+ hour car ride turned into a nearly 7 hour car ride because we made a lot of stops to let you get out and look around. It's just not fair to get you used to being mobile and then strap you in a seat for that amount of time. We went to the hoover dam and to a duck pond and you loved looking around! You love other people and kids. You love your Grandma and Grandpa Roy. We went to a buffet for Mother's Day and you got sick and vommited all over me twice. I like to think of it as my first mother's day gift from you. As I drove back to the house covered in puke all I could think about was how miserable you felt and how I would do anything to take that feeling away from you. In a lot of ways feeling that much like a mommy was a great mother's day gift. We left at 9 that night and drove all night so that you could sleep the whole ride home. Aunt Clara told me it was my job to talk to her and keep her awake - I think she gave that responsibility to the right person. Talk for 5 hours? Done.

Your belly laugh is in full force now. It is so much fun. Sometimes you and I get to cracking up together. We just look at eachother and laugh and laugh.

You have officially noticed the dog and cat. You shake with delight when you see kitties. You laugh at the dog from across the room and he comes up to you and lets you pull on his lips and poke him in the eye.

You have had a lot of firsts since my last letter. To name a few...

First swimming trip.

Sitting up!

First trip to the zoo.

First swing.

First teeth.

First time sitting by yourself in a shopping cart.

First teething cookie.

First sippie cup.

First popsicle (thanks to Opa).. you can also thank him for the first taste of beer.

You are now 15.2 pounds. You love being around people and think that the animals and other children are very funny. You are one tough little cookie and seem to have quite the adventurous streak. You love the water, talking loudly and sweet potatoes.

Me and daddy both hope that we can give you much more than just things inherited. We want to pass down lessons learned. Daddy and I both learned things the hard way and I hope that you are able to learn from our mistakes. I hope that you are able to come to us and speak candidly about your life. I have some crazy stories sweetheart and many of them I would take back - but not if it means saving you some heartache. We will always be here for you.

Love always, Mama

I promise not to slack this month

Month 7 newsletter coming soon.

A few of my favorite (baby) things...

Having a baby brings on a whole new vocabulary... from the bumbo to the boppy to the binky and so on. There are things that I can't live without - and others that I just think are such a great idea.

http://makemyownmonster.com/ These toys are so stinkin' cute. Evelynn has Oliver and I love the little story behind him and that he was created by a four-year-old. He is super soft and huggable.

Kids inevitably play with things that seem silly to us. Like the wrapping paper from an expensive gift, the box that it came in, etc. Oakley once played with my laundry basket for an entire day. Someone must have taken notice of how much children love the tags on blankets, stuffed animals and such and decided to create Taggies. Evie loves hers, she runs the tags through her fingers. Her taggie is small enough to take most places so if she does become attached to it. http://taggies.com/home_us.html

Any expecting mom needs to invest in a boppy and stat. Also, make sure that you bring it to the hospital with you. It's a big help and kinda comfy in the awkward hospital bed. It makes a mommy a little less nervous when visitors come because it allows them to hold the baby very securely.

Evelynn's travel system saved our sanity. She is a very social baby and needs to be in the thick of whatever is going on (even if it's not much). She doesn't sleep for fear that she may miss out on something and lord help us if we put her down and leave a room and she feels left out. One day I came home from work to find tire tracks all over my house. Daddy had figured out that he could put her in her car seat and stroller and wheel her from room to room while he actually got things accomplished. She was high enough that she felt included and we could actually (gasp) put her down! This worked until she realized that she didn't want to be laying down anymore. The poor thing was doing cruches trying to be more upright. That's when I ordered her bumbo.

The bumbo has been super-wonderful. She helps daddy cook, me get ready in the morning and has even helped daddy in the garden. The bumbo has travelled with us to the in-laws and even to restaurants.

Evie was determined to be upright and the crunches continued on into bathtime. I considered putting her bumbo into the tub but I googled that and everything that I read discouraged doing that.

SO I got this - http://www.munchkin.com/products/detail.html?section=prodCategories&ID=10000&pID=168 and I love, love it. And it was only $10! Evie can sit up and kick around, it doesn't take as much water to fill up and it even has a suction cup so that it hangs on the wall when we're finished. Also, you squeeze the bill and it quacks! Munchkin products are all very innovative and cost effective. I have the dishwasher basket and formula dispensers too. The dispenser is great because I don't have to pack the huge container of formula in the diaper bag.

The one toy that seems to go everywhere with us is this guy. It could be because he has so much to keep her occupied, it could be that I just think that he is the cutest. He rings, vibrates, crunches and had plenty of other things to feel and look at.

Right now my favorite bedtime story is Jamberry by Bruce Degen. I love the rhythym of the story and the colors.

Favorite lotion and soap-Aveeno Calming Lavender and Vanilla.

Favorite diapers - Luvs... best bang for your buck and they have leaked less than the more expensive brands (hhhmmm... I sound eerily like the commercial)

Favorite clothing brand - Carters. Their stuff seems to fit the best and is the most durable.

Favorite formula - Walmart Parent's Choice brand. It is such a better value than the more expensive ones.

This list will be forever expanding. Hopefully it can be helpful to another mommy just learning the lingo. Of course every baby is different. Mine hated her sling, swing (even though it's nearly $200 and has it's own papasan and canopy), and she is just now starting to like her vibrating chair. Keep your receipts ladies and don't be afraid to take things back. Odds are if they aren't buying it from the get go, it may collect dust from here on out. Instead, start stocking up on cardboard boxes and laundry baskets!

No Thrill in a Job Hunt

I've said it before and I'll say it again... job hunting sucks ass. The only thing that sucks worse is getting canned and then knowing that the hunt is ahead.

Every morning I wake up and check the classifieds. I email my resume and write down numbers to fax to later. I check a few different websites and send some that way.

Then I wait. And my phone hardly rings. It hardly rings from employers that I probably don't want to work for anyway. Those employers don't call me to offer money that is far less than what I've made for the past few years.

Job hunting brings my maturity level and self esteem straight back to my Sophomore year in high school.

I had an interview last Thursday that was very promising. The first question that the lady asked me is if I was offended by dirty jokes. My response, "Why, do you have one?" Come to find out the boss referred to herself as Trucker Jen and her favorite word was fuck. I immediately perked up - we could really be on to something here! I quickly explained to her that I came from a small mining town with a mining father that loved that word so much that he added it to other words. . . such as fanfuckingtastic, absofuckinglutely and damnfuckingright (just to name a few). She told me that she had a few more people to interview but that she liked me the best. She explained the job duties as if they were already mine and I left there knowing that I would soon be the assistant manager of a large apartment complex. However, the more I thought about it, I couldn't shake the feeling that we didn't part as well as we should have. For the first time in my life I think that I may have been passed up because I don't smoke. The interviewer walked me out and grabbed a Marlboro Light 100 (isn't that somewhat of an oxymoron right there, light... but larger???) Anyhoo she asked me if I smoked and I told her no, she kind of startled and quickly said that her and Trucker Jen do. "Uh Huh" I said, not thinking anything of it. When I called on Monday to find out if the position had been filled the voice on the other end was very froggy and I imagine that the smoker's bench is well-used among the new personnel.

As I hung up I started to lecture myself for not explaining myself more. Why didn't I quickly interject that I was still nursing? Or tell her of the many packs that I have smoked in my young life? I could have told her that when I'm stressed I love the smell of a cigarette and miss it so much sometimes. Then I stopped. This is what job hunting does to a person. It makes them so desperate to find a home and a position that they are able to question and change who they are. I didn't want to work for Trucker Jen, even though I wouldn't flinch at the word fuck - who wants to be in that environment all of the time?

It's like in high school when you would get dumped and your friends would say "He's such a jerk, and not even that cute anyways". They meant well but what you really heard is "Geez - how will you ever score a great guy if the ugly losers dump you!"

And so, I wait for the phone to ring. Sometimes I open it and check the volume to make sure that it's not on silent. I go over conversations of prospects in my head and lay awake at night and wish that someone would just want me. Age old wisdom is repeated like a mantra and needed more than ever - just be yourself. I don't smoke, I am a people person, I do play well with others (honest!Apparently just not crotchety old bitches...ooops did I say that out loud?! hehe), I am damn computer savvy, and even though F Bombs do not offend me - I am a professional girl who is still able to have a little fun and bring a sense of normalcy to a workplace. Please hold while I copy and paste this entry as my new fanfuckingtastic resume cover letter!

Exception

There is an exception to the "no talkie about workie" law, it states that it is perfectly fine to talk about your job if you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it will not get you fired. A good indication that you will not lose your job is if on Friday afternoon you were canned out of the blue.

And can I just say for the record that I LOVED my job? Not enjoyed it, not put up with it but I honestly woke up and got excited to don my scrubs and talk to patients. If I am going to leave Evie for 40 hours a week I better damn be doing something that I love and that makes a difference.

So, Friday afternoon I turn off my computer, rinse out my coffee cup and grab my keys and head out the front door. I am met by my boss who says that she needs to speak to me. I think nothing of it. I am told that the decision has been made to terminate the relationship between me and the office. I cried, I begged for an explanation, I had eyes the size of saucers because of disbelief... and then I was escorted out with a box of my things and was not allowed to say good-bye or gather the rest of my things. My last check was fed exed to me and yesterday I received a box that I can't bring myself to open with the last of my things.

Arizona is an "at will" state. I have come to the conclusion that this means that when you work with an office full of old, bitter women that treat patients as if they are an inconvenience - then when someone comes in that truly cares, picks up the new computer system quicker than you do, and comes up with ways to better the office - then "they will" do everything in their power to get rid of you.

I spent 2 days crying and have cried daily since. This hurts worse than any break up because I was let go for my inability to play well with others. That and my work ethic are the one things you can't touch. I make friends wherever I go and I work my ass off and catch on damn quick. You can call me fat, ugly, bad in bed or crazy but to be dumped by 10 other women (some of which you actually liked) feels like a swift kick in the vajayjay.

So - it's back to the drawing board. It's back to interviewing and trying to sell myself. I do have the feeling that this door shut so that a window that I didn't even know was there would open. In the meantime lord knows I am so in the dark.