Letters from a knocked-up girl...

Dear Mr. Webster,

Please take pity on a first time preggo. I don't know what most of this stuff means. Even after reading online it is difficult. Layman's (sp?) terms please. Thanks!


Dear Preggo book & website authors,

I need you all to put your heads together and get on the same page! It is ridiculous that one person says one thing, while three others say another. I was cross-eyed over the weekend trying to figure out what the hell I could eat or do! Also, can you make it more clear that a miscarriage is not caused by a woman drinking too much caffeine or eating tuna fish, it is from an unhealthy fetus which we have no control over. That information would have been extremely helpful in the beginning while I was petrified that lunch meat may or may not kill my cute little parasite (as I've started calling it much to Brian's horror). Of course, the lunch meat theory is not present in all reports or websites!

What I've learned so far:

~ Listen to your own instinct. I KNEW that I was pregnant despite two negative pregnancy tests. Don't listen to everyone else or start to doubt yourself. Trusting your instinct is a very powerful skill that you will need in 9 months - when everyone will try to tell you what is best for your child.

~ Take all of the prenatal information and put it towards the back of your head. Enjoy this. Nothing you can do can change whether or not God has other intentions for this fetus. When people tell you "not to get your hopes up just in case" kick them in the shins. They are probably the same people that recited the newest divorce statistics when you announced your engagement.

~ HcG is good. We want this to continue to double and triple. For the first time in your life a foreign horomone multiplying is a fantastic thing. Friday the 9th = 66. Tuesday = 590 & Today = 1515!

~ Don't apologize if you panic. This is the first time that you have been through this! When you start spotting at work and think that you are miscarrying and bawl in front of everyone... it's ok. You don't owe any apologies and you would look much more ridiculous if you didn't seem to care.

~ The brain decreases by 8% during pregnancy. This is a valuable excuse as well as... what was I talking about again?

~ Enjoy and write down all that you can. Things have already started to become foggy.