175. Size 18... or 16 at Lane Bryant. Haven't even attempted to try on pants at most stores...I hardly ever try on clothes period. I'm not completely miserable. I don't own a full-length mirror and I'm pretty sure I think I look much skinnier than I actually do. When I get pictures back I'm convinced that I don't usually look that large. I've tried to stop asking the husband "is my butt as big as hers?" Sometimes he's a little too honest. When I get upset, stressed, happy... or any other adjective I eat. When I got some bad news last week the mere thought of a Whopper made me start to feel a little less anxious. I had to remind myself that I was nearly out of gas to keep from going and getting one... and then eating it in my car in the parking lot.
Why the first paragraph confession? I've decided to own it. Yep... lay it all out there. It's not the end of the world, so I wear my weakness on my love handles.
My goal? To lose 40 pounds.
Every time in the past that I have decided to do this I sit down with my diet cookbook and make a shopping list. I go and buy new workout clothes and a walkman. I get a few workout DVD's on netflix or off of Amazon. I promise myself that I will work out every other day come rain or shine. I don the new sneakers and eat well the first day. By day three I'm over it. I have people cheering me on and I decide that I don't want to do this because it's no longer my idea. I have an "all or nothing" attitude. This time? I have started being a little more conscience about what I am eating. I have signed up for a pilates class twice a week. As I get more comfortable with this I will add more. I have added one night at the gym so far. But I didn't kill myself. I have told myself that I really didn't need that mini kit kat right before bed and layed there with a smile on my face. Proud that I didn't eat it.
I want to get pregnant some time this year. However, I hear so many women say that they wish they could get back to the size they were before they were pregnant. So this makes me think, what if I had to say that I wanted to get back to pre-baby weight + some? I also want to have a healthy, active pregnancy. I'm lucky enough to be 26 and married and planning for a baby. After my crazy, young, party days and pregnancy scares I really want to do this right.
So, I need to take baby steps to change (doesn't that sound very What About Bob?) in order to get to where I can power walk and run... so that I can have a baby... and then lose the baby weight.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment