And the award goes to....

Me! On today for the largest and most dramatic hormonal breakdown. I actually left myself completely exhausted after this one.
I haven't had too many breakdowns in the second and third trimester. In the first trimester I once cried for 20 minutes because Brian sneezed on my arm. In the second trimester I would get a little teary-eyed now and then but the times that Brian had to hand me a paper towel and the phone to call my sister were quite minimal.
Today we needed to go and pick up the stroller, car seat and extra car seat base (plus a couple other things I threw on the credit card and didn't tell Brian about) from WalMart's site to store. I don't know about stores outside of my area but this concept at our Prescott Supercenter is so foreign to the employees it's ridiculous. I actually got lectured today for not bringing in my email or order number. Last time I brought both and was told that I didn't need them. All of this lecturing occured before she even tried to pull things up by my last name! Of course she found it and carted everything out to our car. She told me all about her adult kids and what they were up to and asked when I was due. Blah, blah, blah. Brian ditched me to pull the car around. Lucky bastard.
So then we went to Kmart to get curtain rods (for the super cute sheer embroidered curtains that I also purchased) - oh and hot dog buns for his football watching today. I had asked him all morning long what time he intended to go to his buddy's house. Turns out I was dropping him off then and there. This didn't bother me but the fact that he had known and just chosen not to answer my questions is one thing that I just don't get! He does this to me all of the time and then accuses me of being nosey, too talkative, etc. Just answer my question! So I yelled and nagged all the way across the parking lot (we had parked at the garden center and left at the other exit). A couple of times I imagined beating him with the curtain rod (perhaps this is when the horomones really started to kick in...). Across the entire parking lot nag, nag, nag... bitch, bitch, bitch all while waving a curtain rod and waddling. By the time I climbed into my father in law's jeep (borrowed for picking up the goods) I looked at him and said oh so sweetly "you should poor your drink into my McDonald's cup so you can drink it with ice and a straw - it will taste better". He was like "weren't you just yelling at me?" I ignored him. Then I tried to put on my seatbelt. I would pull to link it and it wouldn't budge. Pull, nothing. Let it go - pull, nothing. I started to feel myself get really hot. At this point I looked up to see Brian checking out this girl (who I admit was actually quite hot) and I lost it. I cried so hard that I literally couldn't breathe. I stopped breathing. When I could breathe I gasped the words "and I can't get my seatbelt to work". Brian slowed down so that I could open the door because I had apparently closed the door on the seatbelt. This somehow added fuel. It broke my heart and I cried harder and harder. Then I laughed - hysterically, and broke back into tears.
This lasted for approximately five miles until my very wise husband distracted me by pointing out nice houses and ugly houses. This is one of our favorite past times. I like that tree, oh look at those shutters, I would be pissed if those were my neighbors... and so on.
And - other than my sheer exhaustion and lack of mascara and dignity - it was like nothing happened.
I'd like to thank my horomones, without them this momentous occasion would not have been possible. I would also like to thank my husband for being an ass and amazing all in one and last of all I would like to thank God... for blessing me with this experience. It's been a wild one, but I am one of the luckiest girls in the world.