Two Months

Dear Evelynn,

It's amazing the lessons that can be learned from a tiny baby who has been on this earth for less than 8 weeks. You discovered your reflection recently and cannot stop adoring yourself. You smile and coo at yourself and then crack yourself up. I hope that you can hold on to this confidence. I spent far too much of my young life hating the way that I looked and convinced that I was fat. You are so beautiful and I hope that you are able to see and accept that. Far too much energy is wasted otherwise.

While I was pregnant I heard a celebrity (no clue who) say that having a child is the strangest thing because you are head over heels in love with a complete stranger that you know nothing about. This couldn't be more true. I know some of your personality traits from the womb but we have all been trying to get to know you since you took your first breath. I have been asked a few times "does she usually do that"? I can only blankly stare at them and shrug. I have no idea what you usually do and just when I think I have it figured out you go and change on me. I kind of have your cries figured out. There is the squawking "why aren't you holding me I know that this is a swing I'm not stupid" cry, there is the "I'm starving and you haven't fed me in at least three weeks" cry that usually includes dramatic dove-like coos and then there is the hurt cry. this one includes tears. Some are yours but most are mine. It breaks my heart.

Daddy has taken to sleeping on the couch or in the garage because he gets up so early in the morning so you and I have the master bedroom to ourselves. I feel like we are having mini slumber parties and I cherish our time together. You and I in a king size bed - up every three hours watching infomercials, music videos and nursing. You are such a great sleeper at night. You nurse like clockwork and then I put you on a quilt that is on top of one of those absorbant pads (so as not to ruin our new bedspread) on your side and you go right back to sleep. The 5-6:00 feeding you decide that you need to be held until I have to get up in the morning so I grab you and put the comforter over both of us and we go back to sleepwith you in my arms. This is the reason I have been late to work nearly every day. You are the most cuddly thing on earth. Sorry about the time that I woke up and had drooled all over your head.

The sleeping habits however during the day - that's a whole 'nother story! Not only can we not put you down (you have literally been held for nearly 2 months straight) but you cat nap. When you finally get to sleep I hold my breath and place you in the swing and then sprint around the kitchen frantically trying to cram food in my mouth ... not knowing when I will get to next. I am working on getting better at doing most things with one hand - but this is coming from the girl that wasn't that great at doing most things with two hands! Daddy has pointed out that I should really have you on a schedule by now and I just have to laugh. You are on a schedule - your own! And we're on the same one. I suppose a great sleeper at night is worth a cat napper during the day. At night when you fuss a little bit in your sleep I reach over and put my hand next to you. You put your little fist on top of it and fall back asleep. I want you to know that I will always be here for you. I need you just as much as you need me.

You aren't hard to console at all. You cry and then once you are picked up (or sometimes even as you are being picked up) you stop completely. There have only been a couple of times that you have cried longer than a few minutes. I am so grateful for this.

Even the expensive diapers can't hold your explosions. We go through at least 3 wardrobe changes a day. Even after you have a blow out and I go to change you, somehow you manage to stick your sock in the mess.

I went back to work when you were 5 weeks old and it has been extremely difficult. You are so cute in the mornings! You smile and sigh and your breath smells so sweet and you are so warm and soft. I hate leaving you. I have cried all the way to work more than once. Daddy watches you on Mondays and Tuesdays and Aunt Clara watches you on Wednesdays and Thursdays so thank goodness I haven't had to take you to a stranger or worse yet a daycare at such a young age. But no one is me and I feel guilty for leaving you.

You had your first Christmas and slept through the majority of it. When you weren't sleeping you were very cranky. I think you may have just been overstimulated from all of the excitement. Daddy and I are already talking about how excited we are for next year when you will understand things a little more. I must say that I loved having an excuse to buy Disney Princess Christmas wrapping paper!

Lessons learned include: no one is more fascinating than your daddy, whistling is hilarious, hunger is a very dramatic emotion, a big wet dog snout in your face is nothing to be too concerned about, sleeping through band practice is easy... as well as sleeping through Christmas, when someone holds you for the first time it is best to fill your pants at that moment and you are crazy enough to enjoy mommy's singing. (sorry about the time that you were crying and the only thing I could think of was to hum "Chariots of Fire"... not sure where that came from. )

My life started the day you entered it.

Love, Mommy