Nitrate Meltdown

I know that it should probably go without saying, but make it a general rule to never eat at a Chinese Buffet. Especially one who's sign says Ch a Buff t because of burnt out neon letters. Brian and I would pass it all of the time and he would beg to go. I thought he was kidding in the beginning, my culinary genius begging for that place? I finally gave in last night and we went. Before we even left he said that he was on Nitrate Meltdown, meaning that all of the food has too many salts and MSG in it so it gives people a headache. By the time I got home I was on the floor and very unhappy. I had to sleep in Oakley's bed because my stomach was upset and I was so restless.

We are halfway looking for a puppy. I took it a couple steps too far and called to set up appointments with some of the foster parents. Brian and I decided this morning that we should wait until we have more money to invest and perhaps monsoon season is over so our backyard isn't a mud wrestling pit. I cancelled the appointments this morning. Instead we are probably going to take Oakley to Walmart tonight to pick out a fish or something small like that. I'm afraid he may have his hopes set on getting a dog soon. Maybe for his birthday or Christmas.

Rain on my parade... please!

My birthday has been so amazing. It is raining and thundering out side and the sky is a sad blue. I love this weather, the kind that makes you want to stay in bed with the one you love all day. Speaking of the one I love, I have the most beautiful red roses that he brought me on my desk in a mason jar. That's perfect. We are going to dinner tonight.

I think this is the best birthday I've ever had. My future in laws had us over for lunch yesterday and gave me the sweetest card and some houseplants for the house (they don't know me at all huh? Mud pie and houseplants... just like roses in a mason jar).

Brian's grandma (who I absolutely adore) took out her jewelry box and told me to pick something out for my birthday since I've been so good to her. Hello? Tears much? She went through and told me the stories of all of the items while the whole family sat at the kitchen table. It's like Hallmark come to life. I chose a necklace that was her great aunts.

One day you wake up and realize that your life has finally begun. You assume every role that you knew you would and run with them. I am very, very lucky. Today is truly a day to celebrate.

Eyelash Wishes

I suppose it was a little naive of me to think that I could blow a stray eyelash off of my fingertip and wish for the mediation to go well. Oakley's mom and Brian went through mediation yesterday and we learned that there's a reason that Arizona is viewed as a pro-mother state. Although we are clearly the better environment and household for him to be in, unless Oakley is in immediate danger they will not attempt to take him from his mother. This breaks my heart. We don't want to take him completely from his mom, we just want to give him the kind of life that he deserves and isn't getting. Hopefully one day things will look up. All I can do now is try to be the best mother figure that I can and be there for him 100%.

The trip was actually a lot of fun. It was nice to see my family and catch up with a lot of people. My Uncle Jim's family is an absolute kick in the ass. I always leave there with my cheeks on fire from laughing so hard. My cousin's new wife fits in perfect and is a great addition to the clan! I got to see my favorite person in the whole world, my Grandma Fran and even though she is in the nursing home with advanced alzheimers, I saw a glimpse of the woman I love and idolize. I just had to look really deep in her eyes to find it.

I was able to see friends that I haven't been able to set quality time aside for in past visits. Sorry Jason and Anna! It's not easy with a jury trial and all. ; ) But I do think of them often and love them very much.

Mostly it was just so great to reconnect with Heather. It's the third time we've done the trip and this time it was under the best circumstances. Most people would get sick of someone else, but once I got home I had to keep myself from calling her a few times a day to catch up!

Of course, I didn't plan on being the pathetic girlfriend that misses her boyfriend so bad it hurts. Brian and I had only spent one other night apart before this trip. I thought I would be fine but I missed him tremendously from the moment I started to drive off. I'm sure I drove people crazy, but I couldn't help it... thanks all for being so patient when/if I was whining.

Tracey is still as beautiful and fantastic as ever and Austin just fills my heart with joy. I am completely at home with those two and it's a really great feeling.

It was also great to see my dad, sister and brother. LaMont and I went shopping together and I got him the new Harry Potter book. I was just so excited to have a sibling that is as excited about books as I am! Clara and I went shopping and she was an enormous help and really great for my self image. I didn't feel fat around her and had a blast in Lane Bryant (ahem... I am the SMALLEST size there after all!) LOVED IT! My dad looks so great, he looks younger than I ever remember him looking. Like he did in pictures when I was a little girl.

I got all three seasons of the Newlyweds for my birthday and I am the happiest girl in the world! I have been watching that and hanging out with my cat and Oakley. It's always nice to get to go and see your family, but when you come home to your future husband and step son it makes you realize that you really do choose your family. I love mine.

Off to the land of Zion

My trip is finally here. Tonight I will go as far as Flagstaff and crash at Heather's and then we will go to St George tomorrow and visit some of her friends, stay the night there and head to Utah on Thursday. I have a ton of stuff planned and a ton of people to see. We'll see if it actually all pans out, it usually doesn't. Kind of like everything that I planned on getting done this weekend! Ha! I hardly did any of it. I ended up going out Friday night and getting hammered. I haven't done that in so long and learned quickly that I'm not very good at it anymore. It was just supposed to be a couple of beers over dinner. I skipped dinner and drank like 8 beers at Outback and then proceeded to go down town with Meagan and close the bar. I spent the next day puking and miserable. I'm getting old! ; )

Oakley lost another tooth last night. He freaks out and needs a band-aid over a hang nail but came up to me with a bloody kleenex, mouth and tooth like it was no problem! I couldn't believe it. He said that the tooth fairy must have already been asleep so he will put it under his pillow tonight at his mom's. Last time she gave him candy... doesn't that seem a little counter productive as a tooth fairy?

I actually have ZERO emails in my in box at work. That hasn't happened in forever! Scared of when I get back, but for now I can actually relax (knock on wood) on my vacation!

Friday Night

I can't believe how quickly my trip to Utah snuck up on me. I thought that I had forever and now suddenly I have a ton of stuff to do and I want to be caught up on work too. I would hate to come back and be in trouble for dropping a ball or something. I guess that'st he big nerd in me that worries so.

Tonight it is to the Outback for happy hour, laundry this weekend, haircut tomorrow, take my car to the shop on Monday, I'm getting my kitty fixed on Tuesday and leaving Tuesday night for Flagstaff. Gotta love procrastination. It's nice to know that most of the people I am visiting are also poor so perhaps I won't be the only one trying not to spend too much money. I'm not getting paid for my vacation so I need to be pretty thrifty because the smaller check will come out right about that time.

A ton of people at work have birthdays this month so we're all going to be fat on cake. We've already had two. Oh geez, but at least one of them is mine! ha ha.

Damn Perky

Oakley is so damn cute, I had to put a picture of him in here.

I was told that I seemed much too negative in my last post, so now I am going to be (as my dad would say) Pep, pep PEPPY! No, actually I'm not. I think that I would make myself want to vomit, like girls like that usually do.

Honestly though, I am (sort of) positive. But I have the right to be butt hurt and go home and take it out on my boyfriend don't I?

My sister and I got into it and haven't talked for four days, this happens every once in a while, but I hope that we start talking by the time I go to Utah to see everyone next week!

Brian's job has me so mad, and I can completely relate because I used to work for the same place. They don't deserve a man with his amazing work ethic and talent. I have half a mind to tell them but he's determined to stay and be the bigger man.

Last night I weighed myself and then I did it again this morning and was four pounds lighter, how in the hell does that work? Why am I not skinny yet? Argh.

Nightmare on Mercado Street

So, not last night but the night before I had dreams that I was working all night. I had to sleep in Oakley's bed because I was keeping Brian up. I woke up at one point trying to put "paperwork" on his night stand. I didn't get a wink of sleep.

Last night I had nightmares all night about family members that still haunt me. All day I have still been so angry and irritated that things still bug me and will never change. I got a call from my sister to hear that the same old stuff is up. I have a rash and I can barely breathe. I should have known. At least I don't have to see them though, not that I would have gone out of my way to do so.

I want to go home early today. I have a ton of over time hours from this week anyways.

All geared up, loaded down... and unable to work!

Once again I sit surrounded by paperwork and unable to do anything about it. There is an odd error that continues to multiply invoices so we are charging the customer 3 or 4 times and removing the items that many times from inventory. They are trying to fix it and in the meantime we need to sit here and think about everything that we should be doing. A lot of people like the excuse not to work, however, if I don't do this pile 'o paperwork on my desk... it doesn't go anywhere and continues to grow.

Oakley asked me this morning to change his band aid on his boo boo. I pulled out the first aid kit, antiseptic spray, etc... being the dutifull step mother that I am and he turned around and whipped out his left butt cheek. I wasn't expecting that! I guess he fell into a thorn bush and one went pretty deep in sideways. He is as clutzy as his father.

I went to a really gorgeous wedding reception this weekend. The property is beautiful and it was nice to feel as if I had gotten away for the afternoon, and I had a reason to get dressed up.

Allison is gone for a week and I am missing her already. I better still get my ass to the gym without her! I am still gaining weight! Scared to think of what would be happening if I wasn't working out!

Quickie

Sorry I've been MIA lately. Between work, the gym and home I haven't had much time for anything. I just feel like I'm being pulled in three directions, when all I really want to do is spend a day in bed with a good book.

Father's Day was quite the event this year. I have gifts from Oakley to Brian and his Grandpa, gifts for Brian, and gifts/cards for my dad and future father in law. Plus we had the whole family over for dinner. Instant family survives another holiday. I knew this year at Christmas that this would be the last one spent where it wasn't all about me. Dammit. ; )

I'm really trying hard at the gym, but my results seem more like that commercial where the lady dons her jogging suit and headband to jog to her car to go to Wendy's. But without a frosty!

Oakley peed in a shampoo bottle while he was bathing and then put the cap back on. When Brian went to shower the next morning at 5 am he couldn't figure out why the shampoo was so runny and smelt so bad. We all had a good laugh, after being perplexed for about half a day as to how to handle the situation from the parental standpoint. Our way of handling it "Oakley, sweetie, please don't pee in shampoo bottles anymore". Another thing that I never thought would come out of my mouth.

I have decided to wait a couple of years before we get a dog. Right now it's just too hard with Oakley being so young, he just can't control his impulses yet.

My sister broke her foot while enjoying a platformed, drunken leap. Friends don't let friends drink and leap in platforms. She didn't go to the doctor for four days and was walking on it the whole time. I just shake my head, and remember the times that I showed up to work still drunk with my clothes not matching, trying to recall the night before. So glad those days are behind me, I just wish I remembered more of them!

Is it over yet?

My day:

First of all it was absolutely impossible for me to get out of bed this morning. I was awake for an hour before I finally dragged my lazy ass out of bed and stumbled into my closet to throw on warm up pants and one of Brian's marathon t-shirts... which brings the questions from everyone (oh. Did you run the marathon, no... no I didn't. Do I look like I can run period? No, no I don't.) I don't want to be awake and I am still in a little bit of shock from finding out that my Uncle died yesterday. Not quite sure how to register that one.

Work is still completely screwed up. Person 1: Hi Nisha, do this. Person 2: If you wait a little longer you won't have to do that. Person 1: Here's more of the same stuff to do, why aren't you working on it? Argh.

Friday lunch, ADI buys it and brings it in. Customer service needs to eat at their desks by their phone and answer it throughout. This is your lunch "break". I wish I still smoked.

One day it will be great

So, my work has finally upgraded from DOS Peachtree to a Windows based program. In the meantime we have all had to try and quickly learn the software (with about an hour of training) while maintaining the same level of customer service. Even though we are switching between two systems and mostly don't have a clue. Backorders haven't been shipped or received for two days, pricing is off, all sorts of fun stuff. I dreamt all last night about putting orders in the new system. Hardly slept... and can't wait to go home. I have some extra time because everything has stopped while they try to make the UPS shipping system work right along with our new software. We specialize in selling software.. how is it that this is so darn difficult? We are also in the process of interviewing for a new person in Customer Service. Scared of whoever that will be. The last girl was cute (seems to be a pre requisite) but kept showing up to work still drunk from the night before spent bar hopping and hip hop dancing in zero clothes. Tons of fun.

I toI just want to go home and go to sleep. Only a half hour left, why am I here? This is unknown. Part of the lack of communication that seems to keep this office in orbit... or it's version of what should be an orbit, movement or something to that effect.

I ate way too many jelly beans today and made myself sick. I ordered some flip flops that haven't arrived yet. My books from Amazon were sent snail mail and I currently have nothing to read and must resort to half-ass watching Brian watch basketball. I hate basketball, a bunch of delinquents throwing a ball around and clearly talking shit to eachother. We can read lips... what kind of example are they trying to be to children. Oh, that's right... they don't give a shit. Sportsmanship? No, they're much to busy getting away with sexual assaults.

My sister is dating my ex boyfriend.

More than you ever wanted to know about me

(X) smoked a cigarette (smoked since I was 17, I have since quit (again))
(X) smoked a cigar.
(X) smoked a joint (puff puff give!)
(_) crashed a friend's car
(_) stolen a car
(X) been in love
(X) been dumped (yes, more than I'd like to admit)
(X) shoplifted
(X) been fired (on purpose though, I didn't go to work one day and spent it in bed with a hot boy)
(_) been in a fist fight
(X) snuck out of my parent's house
(X) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
(X) made out with a stranger (he he)
(X) gone on a blind date (Prom my sophomore year...)
(X) lied to a friend
(_) had a crush on a teacher
(_) been to Europe
(X) skipped school (I had problems with my attendance)
(_) seen someone die
(_) had a crush on one of your myspace friends
(_) been to Canada
(X) been to Mexico
(X) been on a plane
(X) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(X) thrown up in a bar... (he he)
(_) purposely set a part of myself on fire
(X) eaten Sushi
(_) been snowboarding - yeah right!
(X) met someone in person from the internet (I know, but he was cute!)
(X) been moshing at a concert (I didn't mean to, Julie and I got stuck in the pit at an AFI concert.. she got her hair ripped out)
(_) been in an abusive relationship
(X) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now
(X) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(X) made a snow angel
(X) had a tea party (do Long Island's count?)
(_) flown a kite - I don't think I've ever successfully done that
(X) built a sand castle (does a big hole count?)
(X) gone puddle jumping
(X) played dress up (Hell yes, unfortunately there are many, many pictures of this)
(X) jumped into a pile of leaves
(X) gone sledding
(X) cheated while playing a game
(X) been lonely
(X) fallen asleep at work/SCHOOL (I got in big trouble because I kept falling asleep in Kindergarten and I used to nap in the bathroom lounge of NAR)
(X) used a fake id
(X) watched the sun set
(X) felt an earthquake
(X) touched a snake (one eyed and otherwise
(X) slept beneath the stars
(X) been tickled (don't touch me)
(X) been robbed - my car got broken into once, but they didn't really get much
(X) been misunderstood
(X) petted a reindeer/goat
(_) won a contest
(X) ran a red light
(_) been suspended from school
(X) been in a car accident (not bad though, just fender benders..)
(X) had braces
(X) felt like an outcast
(X) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) had deja vu
(X) danced in the moonlight
(X) hated the way you look
(X) witnessed a crime
(_) pole danced (yeah right, scared of that)
(_) been obsessed with post-it notes
(X) squished barefoot through the mud
(X) been lost (all the freakin time!)
(X) been to the opposite side of the country (Virginia and Georgia)
(X) swam in the ocean (Clara and I nearly drowned, don't smoke pot and then swim in rip tides)
(X) felt like dying
(X) cried yourself to sleep
(X) played cops and robbers
(X) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(X) sung karaoke (also scared of this one, thank GOD there were no video cameras!
(_) paid for a meal with only coins
(X) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) made prank phone calls when you were younger
(_) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) danced in the rain
(X) written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) been kissed under the mistletoe (hell, I had sex under my Christmas tree once!)
(X) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(X) blown bubbles
(_) made a bonfire on the beach
(X) crashed a party
(X) gone rollerskating (Clara and I used to a lot in our basement, we did roller dances to Elvis songs)
(X) had a wish come true
(_) humped a monkey
( ) worn pearls
(_) jumped off a bridge
(_) screamed "penis" in public
(_) ate dog/cat food
(X) told a complete stranger you loved them (damn alchohol)
(X) kissed a mirror
(X) sang in the shower
(_) have a little black dress
(X) had a dream that you married someone
(_) glued your hand to something
(_) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
(_) kissed a fish
(X) worn the opposite sex's clothes
(X) been a cheerleader
(X) sat on a roof top
(X) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel (I can't even do one w/ two hands)
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(X) stayed up all night
(_) didn't take a shower for a week (No, but I would LOVE that!)
(_) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(_) climbed a tree
(X) had a tree house - My cousin had one I played in . . does that count?
(X) are scared to watch scary movies
(X) believe in ghosts
(_) have more than 30 pairs of shoes
(_) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
(_) gone streaking
(X) played ding-dong-ditch-
(X) played chicken
(X) pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on
(X) been told you're beautiful by a complete stranger (not that they were sober)
(_) broken a bone
(X) been easily amused he he.
(X) caught a fish then ate it
(X) caught a butterfly
(X) laughed so hard you cried
(X) cried so hard you laughed
(X) mooned someone
(X) had someone moon/flash you
(X) cheated on a test
(X) have a Britney Spears CD
(X) forgotten someone's name?
(X) slept naked
(X) French braided someone's hair?
(X) grown a beard (I don't want to talk about it)
(_) belong to the KKK.
(_) rule at Life
(_) Been to more than 10 Countries

Blah freakin blah blah

I've been quite the slacker lately eh? I have every intention of keeping up on this, but time just slips away, and I only have computer access at work. And, unfortunately I'm not a slacker at work.

Nothing much new. Although, surprisingly I am loving the whole domesticated thing. Brian and I are just happy as freakin clams doing dishes together and things like that. He cooks and we watch TV and just hang out. We have had people over a couple of times and it's a lot of fun to be little hosts.

Oakley and the cat are pretty tight, I noticed the other day that she smelt like Brian's cologne. Oakley had sprayed her with it and brushed her teeth, apparantly he wanted her to smell good. Sigh.

Things are getting busy again. I got the new Leann Womack CD and her greatest hits last night and I now carry them wherever I go and listen to them. I may have a problem, but recommend them.

I read my first John Grisham novel, I always thought of him as too main stream to begin reading. I enjoyed it though, read it in a weekend.

the party don't start til 6 in the Mornin'...

Argh, another early day at the office. I will be here for about twelve hours today. I finally finished entering in all of the lost backorders, but now I am left with paperwork without orders and orders without paperwork so I have to be a detective and try to track down what on earth is going on with them. In the meantime, people are probably wondering where their orders are. And yet, I find time to do this.

I finished reading The Glass Castle last night by Jeannette Walls. I couldn't put it down. I related to it so much, of course on a much smaller scale. I highly recommend it.

The weekend will be spent doing laundry, Oakley and I may go to a movie on Saturday and on Sunday we plan on taking Brian's grandma swimming and then we will come home and maybe hang out with some friends. I just want to sleep and find another good book.

ET Phone Home

So I still don't have a home phone. I finally got Qwest out to my house to set it up and they found that the wiring is installed incorrectly. It goes through the attic and maybe one of the workers put a nail through the wiring. We also realized that that was the only phone jack in the entire house. I guess when we didn't get upgrades on our house, no one was kidding around! I use Brian's cell phone but he is an absolute freak about his minutes and hovers over me while motioning for me to "wrap it up". I didn't understand why something was missing out of my life since I've been in the new house. What did I do in the apartment to occupy time? Oh yeah, talk on the phone for hours at a time.

I called the house people and she said she would try to get an electrician out on Monday (this was on Friday) but that she needed it in writing. What? Anyways, I filled out the form and the second question was home phone number! Argh. Needless to say, nothing yet. I am paying for phone service that doesn't exist. I paid last month for them to hook it up to my old apartment. Maybe I am meant to dissappear into obscurity, I doubt it though... I want to talk people's ears off again!

Mean Monkeys

Saturday night Brian and I didn't sleep a wink. The mattress that we had was so small and squeaky and my side sunk down so I had to hold on to keep from falling out of bed. He woke up and told me that he had a dream about monkeys... monkeys, I asked "yeah, mean monkeys" he said. The next morning he had had enough and decided that we needed to buy a new mattress. We don't have the money to buy a new mattress and to top it off I ran off to the grocery store with his debit card and spent double what I should have. I thought he was going to kill me! Luckily, when I got home the neighbor called me over and said that he had a brand new king sized mattress that he was giving away. They downsized their Phoenix house by about half the size and can't fit all of thir things in their new place. They are 80 and wanted to live where it was cooler. I was so excited because this dear man just saved my ass, and the money it would have cost to buy a new mattress. When Brian got home I quickly told him about the mattress, and added softly what I spent on groceries.

I imagine that when most couples move things that they communicate, you grab that end, we'll turn it on its side and I'll go first... things of that nature. Not Brian and I. We lift up and he yells at me for not doing what he is thinking, I throw down whatever I am helping to lift and tell him to do it his damn self. He tells me that I have no sense on how to move things, tries to do it himself and then has to come and apologize to me and promise that it won't happen again so that i will help him. Between moving our old mattress out, moving the new mattress in the garage while we moved the headboard into Oakley's room and then finally getting the new mattress in to our room, this happened about four or five times.

Now, over the past couple of days I have learned that a couple of people are concerned about my relationship and are wondering why I am considering getting married when we fight so much. I think that I should clarify that it's Brian's passion that I love about him. The fact that he gets so irritated and mad and we yell is just part of what I think is great about us. We don't do it in front of Oakley and we always end up crompromising and making up. If we got along all of the time I would get irritated and bored. I have been known to start stupid fights for this very same reason. He is teaching me to be less sensitive and I am teaching him to be less of an asshole. Someday this may even out in which case we will need to find something else to fight about.

Mother's Day Insults

As long as I have been doing clerical work I have never thought of myself as a secretary, although I don't know that we should have gone as far as to change Secretary's Day to Administrative Professional's Day. That makes it sound like a bunch of us had taken time from our typing to bitch about the title, while burning our bras and swapping recipes.

One day that I didn't think could be insulting was this Sunday, Mother's day. Saturday I was going to come in to work (I have been working my ass off to try and re enter hundreds of orders) but everyone who was also going to come in to work... well... didn't. So I decided that I was in need of some retail therapy and headed to the mall. I had just bought a new shirt the night before and it was spaghetti strapped, elastic over the boobs and then flowy (like the ones we all wore in the 80's) I just loved it. I found some perfume and decided to buy it, one because I haven't bought perfume for myself in a long time and two because my boyfriend told me a few days ago that I stunk. I had the lady at Dillards helping me and my total was around $45, she said that there is a free watch for orders over $58, "but since tomorrow is Mother's Day and you are WITH CHILD, I will give it to you anyways". I didn't know what to say so I smiled and took the watch, signed my receipt and went home very butt hurt. I have this stupid watch to show for it and I hate it, I want to slam it against my counters at home.

On Sunday I was with Oakley at the grocery store and everyone kept asking him if he did anything for me for Mother's Day. He's six and didn't know what to say... I'm not his mom! Poor thing, I know that everyone was just trying to be nice, but my hell! I have talked to other girls in the office that ran into the same thing. I don't know of any suggestions to fix all of this, but I sure do feel that I deserve to bitch. I am very proud of making it this far without children, don't wish me a Happy Mother's Day until I am ready to celebrate!

I will write more about the woes of free mattresses.

Jason accused me of "petering off" on my blog entries. I wanted to quote that because I thought it sounded funny and also point out that I have been working 13 hour days to try and save the company's ass and re enter lost data.

Sigh...

The system that we enter all of our orders in has been down for two days now. This should make me appreciate the technology more... but instead we all hate "stupid peachtree". Yesterday we had to write all orders by hand and I had to do all backorders by hand. Then today, once things are up and running, we will be able to go in and completely redo everything we did by hand yesterday. Why wasn't I sick this week instead? ; )

I watched Meet the Fockers last night. Brian and I really enjoyed it especially since we will be getting our families together soon for the wedding. They are beyond opposites also. Brian can't wait to get a bunch of people together that normally wouldn't hang out and just watch what happens. I can't stress about that though, there's plenty more to worry about. He really wants to push for the end of October. We still have to find out what the assessor estimated our house worth at to find out if we will even have the money to throw it all together.

My cat was such a sweet and well behaved kitten. Now she's so naughty all of the time! She is definitely testing boundaries. Last night she was on the kitchen counter looking at us to see if we were going to let her stay or not! The squirt bottle is getting a work out.

Male behavior

Living with two males has taught me a few things:

1. Wrestling and knocking eachother over until one or both are pissed off or crying is a term of endearment. Pretending to punch one in the head or fart on the other means you feel very deeply for that person.

2. NEVER sit down on any toilet seat without checking it first. Either it will be up, or wet, or any other unimaginable prospects.

4. Kittens are not meant to simply pet and look at. They should be placed on your head whenever possible and made to dance hula style.

5. Farting is very, very funny.

6. Cleaning food out of your beard or off of your face is not necessary until the meal is over and then it is usually done with the back of your hand.

7. Sleeping requires at least three pillows. Your mate only needs one.

8. Rocky is great entertainment. All five of them.

9. Putting laundry away means putting the entire load in one place, unfolded and out of sight. Hangers are a waste of time.

I know that I will continue to learn more and more and this is what scares me.

My weekend started off with a mini breakdown after my sister told me I may want to go on the atkins diet before getting married because I have a large ass. Brian didn't disagree right away and this led to absolute hysterics complete with covers over my head and toilet paper everywhere. I guess it didn't help that I had a heating pad in tow for my massive cramps. I can laugh about it now, but lord help anyone that tried to see the humor in it on Friday night.

We went yesterday to get directions from Brian's parents on how to take care of their house and Grandma while they are in Europe for a month.

I have decided that I would like all of my bridesmaids to perform the Nepolian Dynamite dance at my reception.

The detached head

A counselor told me one time that when a child suffers trauma while they are young that they create certain survival skills to get through. Oddly enough, I taught myself to detach from my own body. I honestly do not mentally connect with my body at all. There are times that I don't recognize my own limbs. This is a huge reason for my lack of coordination. I can't catch, dance, or anything of the sort. I need to regain that mind/body connection and that's one of the main reasons that I do Yoga (or attempt to do Yoga). Where most people find it easy to be conscience of their movements I feel that I am a head with parts portruding off of it. One time in a little boutique I was trying to move out of the way for a lady to get through a small doorway. I seemed to keep getting in her way. I couldn't believe it when I finally realized it was a mirror, how does one lose herself so drastically? I am determined to undo this.

I am still working on getting well. Brian is getting very irritated with the fact that he can't seem to shake this cold. He is supposed to run a 10k race tomorrow, but probably won't be able to. He trained for months for this, it's a little disappointing.

I can't wait for the weekend. Hopefully I won't be bed-ridden for this one.